it was back to the real world yesterday. today was no less real. six a.m. wake-up calls for big boy responsibilities. back to the job. i found today that boredom does not necessarily mean one is doing nothing; it means to be bored of performing a tedious task. my job is tedious.
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i think it's that we feel like bursting into the freedom the long awaited nice weather falsely promises. reality in the cubicle throws stronger punches when the sun is warming the atmosphere to 70 degrees.
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either way, i've hit another valley. i get melodramatic when i'm down there. melodramatists bother me, which makes it worse. if she were biologically mine, i'd say alexandra takes after her daddy. the two of us bother me.
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i know i've mentioned it recently, but there's still something more i need, but i don't know what it is. it's like the big mystery in a good movie... "no, this can't be it. i had to have missed something. but what?" that's as far as i can get. i just sit here shaking my head wondering where to take my thoughts from there.
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melodramatism.
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favorite bible verse read today: nothing specific. i've been reading through the book of job though. i think if job were to come up to me on the street and start talking like he does to his friends in the book named after him, i'd think he was the cockiest jerk out there. i've been institutionalized. being humble doesn't mean you can't say good things about yourself. in job's case, god thinks the guy's pretty sweet, even though he sounds pretty puffed up to me. so i've learned through job it's okay to be honest... even about the good things you are.
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a picture (i call this one "gollum" by sarah):
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