Systematic Growth

As I've grown, I realize walking this life as a Christian is, and always will be, a continual journey. I know that I should be improving myself each day, becoming more and more like Christ. 

Then, as you may have read in some of my past posts, I have this longing to live now as though Christ is enough. But I do this frustratingly as I can't figure out why my mind won't change. 

So it clicked for me this morning. I figured out a tangible way to marry these two. 

By reading my Bible, I will always realize places in my life that are more important than Christ. By constant prayer... keeping it at the forefront of my mind and seeking the Lord's help... I work toward sacrificing that one thing to put it in its subordinated place behind God. As I put that in its right place, I move on to my next idol, and so on. 

While this is a slow, long process... lifelong... you gradually irradicate everything standing between your heart and Christ, each day becoming more and more like Him. 

This side of heaven, I know I'll never arrive. But having that daily goal and battle gives me something to fight for, a place to grow, and a reason to improve. Unless we make a plan and fight toward it, it's just a dream send a constant frustration, because we'll never arrive if we're not systematically growing. 

Spiritual Fire Drill

Why do we practice fire drills? The answer to that may seem obvious. But how often when the lights start flashing in your office do you take that seriously? Sometimes you know it’s a drill, but other times, it just happens. I know in the past, when it “just happens”, I find myself among my colleagues, wandering the hall questioning if it’s genuine or just an electrical malfunction of sorts. Why don’t we just get out?

I’ve heard stories of people dying in a fire, still sitting in their seats. They didn’t even move! Studies have shown that practicing mitigation of calamitous situations increases your ability to survive if (or when) they actually come. So it makes complete sense that those with a greater chance of survival in these situations are those with military, police, fire, ambulatory experience. This makes me think I should get out when the lights start flashing every time, and let the professionals tell me if it’s a false alarm.

Thankfully I’ve never experienced a major catastrophic “Act of God” as insurance companies like to define these sorts of things. However, experience has taught me there is no difference in my spiritual life when it comes to planning for disaster. It makes no sense to wait for tragedy to hit to see what we’re made of. This doesn’t mean I should live in fear of what could happen, because – let’s face it – some of the things we know could happen may never actually come into play in our lives. So how do we prepare ourselves for every possible calamity that may oppress us? You can’t. But I think living in naiveté increases your risk. So be aware. Learn from others’ stories. Never think “that can’t happen to me”. But don’t live in fear.

I’ve been thinking about this whole concept lately because of something I’ve been struggling with in my spiritual life. In Luke 14:26, Jesus says, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even their own life – such a person cannot be my disciple.” I’m sure Jesus doesn’t mean that we literally hate those that are closest to us. After all, He also notes that we should love our neighbors and our enemies alike. But – and I’ve written about this before – I think He says this in Luke 14:26 because He wants to know “am I enough?” If everything you have – possessions, wealth, health, relationships – all goes away, is Jesus enough?

I love my life. I really like all the stuff I have. I’m extremely happy with my health. I love my kids. And I REALLY love my wife. And I have to think too that it this applies to what people think of me… even those I value most. So not just material possessions or having people in my life, but even the opinion these people have of me. None of these things are bad – we should appreciate the material possessions we have, and we’re commanded to love. But take them away from me, and what do I become? Is what God has given me, and who He has placed in my life, more important than Him? Do I value my wife’s opinion of me more than God’s?

So yeah… I’ve been struggling with loving stuff and people more than God Himself. I’ve felt down because of perceived opinions people have of me. I’ve been meditating, and praying to Him, to keep my mind and heart focused on the importance of Him in my life. If I truly follow Him, then opinions of me by others don’t really matter. The loss of anything, or anyone, in my life is a result of sin. Everything dies and passes away because of sin in this world. But Christ has overcome sin, and at the end, He reigns!

But there’s that fine line… you have to live in the mindset that it / they could all be gone tomorrow, yet love and appreciate them today like they’ll always be there. God wants us to love passionately, yet realize it could all disappear. Hold tight and protect, but understand it’s not really under your control.

If I could REALLY get myself to REALLY understand that all my stuff, including my relationships, are all God’s anyway, then commending all of these into His capable hands isn’t REALLY sacrifice. I’m not giving anything up if the Maker is doing what He desires with what is already His via His divine sovereignty.

He causes it to rain on the just and unjust. Who am I to think I deserve anything that’s His? The fact of the Gospel is that I don’t. I don’t deserve any of it… anything! If He chooses to bless me, then He is free to do that. But I don’t deserve it. Praise be to God for all of the things and people in my life, which He has graciously chosen to bless me with!!!

Trust and Integrity

"Until I die, I will not deny my integrity." Those words were spoken by the 'great sufferer', Job. Does this quote suggest Job thought he was sinless, without fault? If we look at the rest of the book of Job, we read what he believes about God, which makes it apparent he couldn't have thought he was without sin. Yet he won't deny his integrity...

Can a person be full of integrity and promote that quality in front of others, yet sin?

I think it's no different than Paul, who boasted of his weakness. Job and Paul both seem to understand the sovereignty of God, and how being immersed in Him is what brings true strength... strength of character... integrity.

I've heard it said, "trust everyone, just don't trust the devil in them." None of us are perfect because of the sin living in us. So we're warned to test the spirits. Test whether a person has trusted Christ with their imperfections so His power is shown. Test whether a person is actually following Him or giving Him lip service (not all who call on His name will be saved). Test whether a person has gone the other direction and wishes to live in their sinful nature.

If a person isn't fully devoted to following Christ, how can you trust them? Trust is defined as "putting confidence in the good qualities of someone". If we're born evil and full of sinful desires, the only good you in a person you can put confidence in is what God has replaced.

So if I want to be able to speak confidently like Job and Paul, if I want to be truly trustworthy, I need to replace all the bad in me... daily... with Him. If I'm not doing that out of full devotion to Him, I'm not trustworthy as I give sin and the devil a chance to grow.

Some days are better than others, but my focus is to find God throughout my day, everyday. Until I die, I too will not deny my integrity... because He has saved me from my evil, selfish desires, and there's nothing left for me in that life. I know I can be trusted because His good lives in me, and that type of perfect good can easily be trusted.

"He must become greater. I must become less." (John 3:30)

My Justification vs God's

The book of James says "he then who knows the good he ought to do, yet doesn't do it, sins". Even if you don't believe the Bible, this is some good advice to live on. If there's something you feel you should be doing right and don't do it, then what good are your actions? As a follower of Christ, this looks different in that the good I ought to do is prompted by the Holy Spirit rather than by my worldview of morality. And a worldview of morality outside the Bible isn't necessarily bad, unless seen through the eyes of the Bible, in which case it isn't perfect. 

Yet I'm just as bad as the next person. I see what I should be doing or saying, or where I should be going, but don't. And like most others, a big argument for why is "that's just who I am," or "that's just where I am right now". As a Christian, I can take that a step farther and note God's love, forgiveness and patience. He cares enough to forgive me when I don't do these things, so it's all good, right? No... we use this to make ourselves feel better about what we've done or said, rather than using it to feel broken, to represent (or turn around) from our actions and fight who we are or where we are right now to become better... in my eyes ultimately better as who Christ would want me to be. 

We need to start taking His love and sovereignty more as a way to see how we need to improve rather than a way to justify ourselves. Stop living so reactive and start trying to figure out how we should change. Stop waiting for the Holy Spirit to make it obvious and start GOING to Him to see what's next. Stop justifying my own actions and start living in glorious glow of Christ's justification for me.

Time

Wow... looking back at my last post, I realize a lot has happened in the last seven years or so! And I don't mean that in the general sense one typically says it. What I mean is...

I was in a bad car accident in 2012. I'm not sure what role that played in everything that has transpired since, but I slipped into depression shortly thereafter, and that desert lasted a good five years.

A story for another time, but I miraculously snapped out of that in June 2017, my soul awakened and instantly flooded with everything I should have been experiencing with God over those lost five years.

I had been a zombie... a shell of a person limping through life, looking at everything through a foggy pane. Color came back that June, and I saw everything I hadn't been to those around me. Not present. Not caring. Distant. A fairly painful and sudden self realization. 

But in that, there was God. Right where He had always been. Standing there with His hand opened up to take mine, waiting for me to open my eyes. But in His patience and mercy, He opened them for me, because ultimately... He loves me.

I'm still not perfect today... by no means! I'm still learning and growing. But I'm understanding God differently. I'm seeing this world differently. I've been awakened like I never was before... thought I was, but in a naive sense.

I want to do good, do what's right. I want to love. I want to progress.

More than any of that, I want to know Him more. I see what He's done in my life, and I can only explain that imperfectly. Most of that is felt deep and internally, but it's there and intense! But what He's done shows the depth of His love... and I want to know more of that!

Time passes, but God never changes.