I was in a bad car accident in 2012. I'm not sure what role that played in everything that has transpired since, but I slipped into depression shortly thereafter, and that desert lasted a good five years.
A story for another time, but I miraculously snapped out of that in June 2017, my soul awakened and instantly flooded with everything I should have been experiencing with God over those lost five years.
I had been a zombie... a shell of a person limping through life, looking at everything through a foggy pane. Color came back that June, and I saw everything I hadn't been to those around me. Not present. Not caring. Distant. A fairly painful and sudden self realization.
But in that, there was God. Right where He had always been. Standing there with His hand opened up to take mine, waiting for me to open my eyes. But in His patience and mercy, He opened them for me, because ultimately... He loves me.
I'm still not perfect today... by no means! I'm still learning and growing. But I'm understanding God differently. I'm seeing this world differently. I've been awakened like I never was before... thought I was, but in a naive sense.
I want to do good, do what's right. I want to love. I want to progress.
More than any of that, I want to know Him more. I see what He's done in my life, and I can only explain that imperfectly. Most of that is felt deep and internally, but it's there and intense! But what He's done shows the depth of His love... and I want to know more of that!
Time passes, but God never changes.
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