i suppose thanksgiving is officially over... well, the holiday that is. but thanksgiving should never end, especially when you have so much to be thankful for as i do.
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the last few days have gone relatively fast, though they have been wrought with some stress and a dash of busyness. two thanksgiving dinners in one day, work, shopping on black friday, out-of-town guests, and babysitting two extra animals is my proof (okay, the one animal is a hermit crab... so what?!).
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though much has happened this week, i will keep this short... here are a few quotes from my holiday:
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1) sarah: "if you didn't need a rooster to fertilize the eggs in order to get eggs from the chickens, then why did you have a rooster?"
sarah's mom: "i guess to keep all the hens happy."
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2) sarah: "why did all the birds fly away and hide?"
alex: "because the incredible hawk was eating them."
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3) sonja: "daddy, can you help me draw a bird?"
me: "i don't think i can draw a bird."
sonja: "yeah, sometimes when birds die, we have to trace them."
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and that's that.
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remember mumbai.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
i don't deserve this life
waking up at 6:15 on a saturday is okay in my book when it means an early cup of coffee with a group of men seeking to intensify their relationship with the God that created them. i think my book says early saturdays are also reserved for disc golf, but that was out of the question today.
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after breakfast (or the cup of joe i had), i came home and watched barbie: the magic of the pegasus (or something like that) with the girls. it's amazing how a movie can be both obnoxiously hideous yet captivating all at the same time. i'd say the horribleness of it outweighed anything good though.
.
i picked up mr. seth around 10 a.m. to head to a new friend's house to chop some wood. todd, seth, and i loaded up seth's 'new' truck with some seasoned elm for my fireplace. after spending an hour-or-so in the 30-degree temperature with a chainsaw and a log splitter, we retired to todd's cottage for a cup of hot chocolate. his wife was an excellent hostess, which was perfect after a brief bit of work in the cold weather. todd then shipped us off with the hope of more logger outings (and maybe a snowmobile ride)... his wife shipped us off with brownies.
.
after dumping the wood in the driveway, i hit the kitchen for a bite to eat, then somehow fell asleep on the floor in my office. the girls got almost a 3-hour nap today, though mine wasn't quite as long. then it was up and back outside to stack the wood.
.
once i was done playing lumberjack for the day, and the girls had their fill of the snow, we retired indoors to a hot plate of spaghetti and home-made meatballs made by our own personal 5-star chef. this was followed by all watching a movie about another 5-star chef (ratatouille).
.
so once the kids hit the hay (9-ish), i headed back downstairs to dry about half the dishes (all of the dishes is too overwhelming at this point). it wasn't the job that did it, but i suddenly had that trapped and bored feeling i mentioned not long ago in a previous blog entry. it's gone now, but i think that's because i'm thinking back on the rest of my day to that point.
.
nothing like good Godly-men fellowship, a warm fire, a cup of hot cocoa, some time in the snow with the kids, a nice dinner made by a loving wife, and a relaxing evening to cap off another near perfect day. i haven't figured out why yet, but God loves me...
.
after breakfast (or the cup of joe i had), i came home and watched barbie: the magic of the pegasus (or something like that) with the girls. it's amazing how a movie can be both obnoxiously hideous yet captivating all at the same time. i'd say the horribleness of it outweighed anything good though.
.
i picked up mr. seth around 10 a.m. to head to a new friend's house to chop some wood. todd, seth, and i loaded up seth's 'new' truck with some seasoned elm for my fireplace. after spending an hour-or-so in the 30-degree temperature with a chainsaw and a log splitter, we retired to todd's cottage for a cup of hot chocolate. his wife was an excellent hostess, which was perfect after a brief bit of work in the cold weather. todd then shipped us off with the hope of more logger outings (and maybe a snowmobile ride)... his wife shipped us off with brownies.
.
after dumping the wood in the driveway, i hit the kitchen for a bite to eat, then somehow fell asleep on the floor in my office. the girls got almost a 3-hour nap today, though mine wasn't quite as long. then it was up and back outside to stack the wood.
.
once i was done playing lumberjack for the day, and the girls had their fill of the snow, we retired indoors to a hot plate of spaghetti and home-made meatballs made by our own personal 5-star chef. this was followed by all watching a movie about another 5-star chef (ratatouille).
.
so once the kids hit the hay (9-ish), i headed back downstairs to dry about half the dishes (all of the dishes is too overwhelming at this point). it wasn't the job that did it, but i suddenly had that trapped and bored feeling i mentioned not long ago in a previous blog entry. it's gone now, but i think that's because i'm thinking back on the rest of my day to that point.
.
nothing like good Godly-men fellowship, a warm fire, a cup of hot cocoa, some time in the snow with the kids, a nice dinner made by a loving wife, and a relaxing evening to cap off another near perfect day. i haven't figured out why yet, but God loves me...
Friday, November 21, 2008
today was "a hill"
my life is a chronic roller coaster. from my last blog, you'd think i'm depressed and ready for Christ's second coming. today was a 'cloud-9' day. but while i am eagerly awaiting eternity with the King, i'm not ready to take myself there. it will be in His time.
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today was almost the perfect day. other than sitting in a meeting i didn't want to be in, i can't imagine much better. i went to work early, and since there was nothing to do like i thought there would be, i read my bible for a bit. then i worked some, took a coffee break, and worked some more. my 1-hour meeting ended with a food day, then i was picked up by my wife around 12:30 to come home for the day! since she had a doctor's appointment, i had the priviledge of staying home with the girls, which meant going outside to play in the 5-6 inches of snow. then we came in and started a fire, ate some pizza, and watched a movie. now it's just the wife and i with the fire and glass of wine... how romantic!
.
we did miss my cousin's little girl's 2nd birthday party, but i felt the snowfall was worth staying home. happy birthday delaney!!!
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and for those who doubt...
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"sandeep's family had given up hope of ever seeing him cured from his mental illness. they had taken him to numerous hospitals, but he continued to suffer. finally, all they could do was bring him home. one day a christian visited sandeep's house. he encouraged the family to come to church and let pastor durai pray for sandeep's healing. filled with hope, they brought him to the church. when durai met them and heard their story, he sensed that they should have an extended time of praying and fasting. for eight days the believers joined together in fervent prayer. on the eighth day, as they were interceding, they realized that the young man was being attacked by demons. they continued in prayer, and sandeep was miraculously set free. the believers were overjoyed, and today sandeep is a follower of Jesus."
.
so now you either say (1) "yeah right", or (2) "wow, that's cool", and go on eating your dinner. either way, you deny God's power... unless you: (3) step out and embrace this power as a true follower of Him. let's pray for one another, that we can walk as Jesus walked...
.
today was almost the perfect day. other than sitting in a meeting i didn't want to be in, i can't imagine much better. i went to work early, and since there was nothing to do like i thought there would be, i read my bible for a bit. then i worked some, took a coffee break, and worked some more. my 1-hour meeting ended with a food day, then i was picked up by my wife around 12:30 to come home for the day! since she had a doctor's appointment, i had the priviledge of staying home with the girls, which meant going outside to play in the 5-6 inches of snow. then we came in and started a fire, ate some pizza, and watched a movie. now it's just the wife and i with the fire and glass of wine... how romantic!
.
we did miss my cousin's little girl's 2nd birthday party, but i felt the snowfall was worth staying home. happy birthday delaney!!!
.
and for those who doubt...
.
"sandeep's family had given up hope of ever seeing him cured from his mental illness. they had taken him to numerous hospitals, but he continued to suffer. finally, all they could do was bring him home. one day a christian visited sandeep's house. he encouraged the family to come to church and let pastor durai pray for sandeep's healing. filled with hope, they brought him to the church. when durai met them and heard their story, he sensed that they should have an extended time of praying and fasting. for eight days the believers joined together in fervent prayer. on the eighth day, as they were interceding, they realized that the young man was being attacked by demons. they continued in prayer, and sandeep was miraculously set free. the believers were overjoyed, and today sandeep is a follower of Jesus."
.
so now you either say (1) "yeah right", or (2) "wow, that's cool", and go on eating your dinner. either way, you deny God's power... unless you: (3) step out and embrace this power as a true follower of Him. let's pray for one another, that we can walk as Jesus walked...
Monday, November 17, 2008
like a bird in a cage
sorry. i already missed a day. until i get back into the swing of things, i'm sure i'll miss a day or two here and there. and if you can't read this font... you're getting old.
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i feel trapped. today the weight of repetition has consumed me. i'm bored. my sun rises and sets at the same time every day. while my work environment is changing slightly, the job doesn't. two children makes life interesting at home... but i'm still... frustrated, if that's the right word. i think it's just the feeling that i could and should be doing something more all while feeling inadequate for the task. even as a Christ follower, i still conciously believe satan's lies... i know the good i ought to do, but don't do it because of my apparent shortcomings. my iron has not been sharpened, and i'm in need of a blacksmith. i can't be a craftsman without first being an apprentice. how does one know what kind of pot they were designed to be? i've been given the Bible, and i've read every word, but the Master doesn't speak english to me.
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i'm not where i should be. but where am i? where should i be going? how do i get there?
.
i feel trapped. today the weight of repetition has consumed me. i'm bored. my sun rises and sets at the same time every day. while my work environment is changing slightly, the job doesn't. two children makes life interesting at home... but i'm still... frustrated, if that's the right word. i think it's just the feeling that i could and should be doing something more all while feeling inadequate for the task. even as a Christ follower, i still conciously believe satan's lies... i know the good i ought to do, but don't do it because of my apparent shortcomings. my iron has not been sharpened, and i'm in need of a blacksmith. i can't be a craftsman without first being an apprentice. how does one know what kind of pot they were designed to be? i've been given the Bible, and i've read every word, but the Master doesn't speak english to me.
.
i'm not where i should be. but where am i? where should i be going? how do i get there?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
it's been a while...
a new friend emailed me a sermon his pastor gave not long ago on forgiveness. in reading it today and subsequently being asked to pick the blog back up again, I feel the need to ask for forgiveness if you are among the few who read this even semi-consistenly.
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rather than update my life since october 8th, we'll just hit recent past...
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last weekend was my best bud's wedding. the cermony was great as is the couple God has brought together. the holy unity of marriage is an exciting thing, and sarah and i can't seem to stop thinking happy thoughts for them now and for their future in serving side-by-side. as part of the bridal party, it was an honor to spend a few days with mr. forte and his groomsmen, each of which were solid christians dead on the straight and narrow path towards heaven's gates. i left the weekend like i would leave a mission trip... sad and feeling empty at the thought of having to go back to work on monday. every conversation over the weekend seemed to come back to God, what He was teaching us, love for the lost, etc. iron doesn't seem to care to sharpen iron in these parts...
.
the drive back from circleville was among the highlights of the weekend, as it gave me a couple of hours to be alone with my wife since... well... our anniversary... ? and the spiritual talk did't stop in the car, so it was even more pleasant with God present.
.
it was a rough work week, and i felt myself thinking rather unchristianly on many occasions despite the highly christian oriented weekend i had just experienced. during one of my boughts, i was listening to a song which gave me these words: "will you stay the same or will you fight? you decide. who will you run to? run to life. there is no reason for you to hide. you decide." it struck me then how i had been acting... well, thinking really. this song challenged me to fight. fight the spiritual battle raging inside me... to change. to allow God's love to change me. i choose life. i decided.
.
so back to the email from my new friend, also a groomsman at the wedding. though feeling many injustices this week, i feel bad for my mental, unseen behavior, but i feel good that i can forgive the few wrongs done to me, being reminded of the many wrongs i've done against Him. at the end of the sermon/email, the pastor said you should forgive, but not necessarily trust. i agree, but...
.
the Bible says to love our neighbor and to love our enemies. it also says that love always trusts. if we're to love everyone, and in doing so trust, how can we forgive and not trust, but remain under God's instruction. i believe the pastor is right, but do you?
.
school has been going well with the girls, and i think they're really coming along academically, socially, and in self-discipline. they still have a long way to go, but they're only 4, and i have a long way to go at 27. we had our first parent-teacher conferences, and both teachers had great things to say about each of our children... encouraging things! so as a dad, i see even more hope, and will continue to pray for their little souls.
.
yearning to love others,
ben
.
rather than update my life since october 8th, we'll just hit recent past...
.
last weekend was my best bud's wedding. the cermony was great as is the couple God has brought together. the holy unity of marriage is an exciting thing, and sarah and i can't seem to stop thinking happy thoughts for them now and for their future in serving side-by-side. as part of the bridal party, it was an honor to spend a few days with mr. forte and his groomsmen, each of which were solid christians dead on the straight and narrow path towards heaven's gates. i left the weekend like i would leave a mission trip... sad and feeling empty at the thought of having to go back to work on monday. every conversation over the weekend seemed to come back to God, what He was teaching us, love for the lost, etc. iron doesn't seem to care to sharpen iron in these parts...
.
the drive back from circleville was among the highlights of the weekend, as it gave me a couple of hours to be alone with my wife since... well... our anniversary... ? and the spiritual talk did't stop in the car, so it was even more pleasant with God present.
.
it was a rough work week, and i felt myself thinking rather unchristianly on many occasions despite the highly christian oriented weekend i had just experienced. during one of my boughts, i was listening to a song which gave me these words: "will you stay the same or will you fight? you decide. who will you run to? run to life. there is no reason for you to hide. you decide." it struck me then how i had been acting... well, thinking really. this song challenged me to fight. fight the spiritual battle raging inside me... to change. to allow God's love to change me. i choose life. i decided.
.
so back to the email from my new friend, also a groomsman at the wedding. though feeling many injustices this week, i feel bad for my mental, unseen behavior, but i feel good that i can forgive the few wrongs done to me, being reminded of the many wrongs i've done against Him. at the end of the sermon/email, the pastor said you should forgive, but not necessarily trust. i agree, but...
.
the Bible says to love our neighbor and to love our enemies. it also says that love always trusts. if we're to love everyone, and in doing so trust, how can we forgive and not trust, but remain under God's instruction. i believe the pastor is right, but do you?
.
school has been going well with the girls, and i think they're really coming along academically, socially, and in self-discipline. they still have a long way to go, but they're only 4, and i have a long way to go at 27. we had our first parent-teacher conferences, and both teachers had great things to say about each of our children... encouraging things! so as a dad, i see even more hope, and will continue to pray for their little souls.
.
yearning to love others,
ben
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