it's been a while...

a new friend emailed me a sermon his pastor gave not long ago on forgiveness. in reading it today and subsequently being asked to pick the blog back up again, I feel the need to ask for forgiveness if you are among the few who read this even semi-consistenly.
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rather than update my life since october 8th, we'll just hit recent past...
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last weekend was my best bud's wedding. the cermony was great as is the couple God has brought together. the holy unity of marriage is an exciting thing, and sarah and i can't seem to stop thinking happy thoughts for them now and for their future in serving side-by-side. as part of the bridal party, it was an honor to spend a few days with mr. forte and his groomsmen, each of which were solid christians dead on the straight and narrow path towards heaven's gates. i left the weekend like i would leave a mission trip... sad and feeling empty at the thought of having to go back to work on monday. every conversation over the weekend seemed to come back to God, what He was teaching us, love for the lost, etc. iron doesn't seem to care to sharpen iron in these parts...
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the drive back from circleville was among the highlights of the weekend, as it gave me a couple of hours to be alone with my wife since... well... our anniversary... ? and the spiritual talk did't stop in the car, so it was even more pleasant with God present.
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it was a rough work week, and i felt myself thinking rather unchristianly on many occasions despite the highly christian oriented weekend i had just experienced. during one of my boughts, i was listening to a song which gave me these words: "will you stay the same or will you fight? you decide. who will you run to? run to life. there is no reason for you to hide. you decide." it struck me then how i had been acting... well, thinking really. this song challenged me to fight. fight the spiritual battle raging inside me... to change. to allow God's love to change me. i choose life. i decided.
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so back to the email from my new friend, also a groomsman at the wedding. though feeling many injustices this week, i feel bad for my mental, unseen behavior, but i feel good that i can forgive the few wrongs done to me, being reminded of the many wrongs i've done against Him. at the end of the sermon/email, the pastor said you should forgive, but not necessarily trust. i agree, but...
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the Bible says to love our neighbor and to love our enemies. it also says that love always trusts. if we're to love everyone, and in doing so trust, how can we forgive and not trust, but remain under God's instruction. i believe the pastor is right, but do you?
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school has been going well with the girls, and i think they're really coming along academically, socially, and in self-discipline. they still have a long way to go, but they're only 4, and i have a long way to go at 27. we had our first parent-teacher conferences, and both teachers had great things to say about each of our children... encouraging things! so as a dad, i see even more hope, and will continue to pray for their little souls.
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yearning to love others,
ben