staycation not a break from selfishness

as my staycation draws to a close, i'm realizing once again how selfish i am. after starting a men's disc golf group at church a month-or-so ago, typically 0 men show up each week to play, including this afternoon. upon returning home somewhat defeated after the lack of turn-out, i found my inlaws had dropped by for an unexpected visit. this is fine and all, though i was feeling somewhat down, the girls needed a nap, and my selfishness didn't want to end my week off of work with this type of heightened stress. so i mowed the lawn, though rather less successfully than i'd have liked as the push mower wouldn't start, leaving trim work a bit choppy. daddy andrew's peer pressure led all three children into my weed patch, resulting in berries of some sort ending up all over the girls' shoes and clothes as well as the road, which looked like three small animals had been slaughtered at the end of my driveway.
.
the highlight of the day came just after dinner. after everything had 'calmed' down, daddy wasn't mean, but a bit impatient with bad listening, chewing with mouths open, etc. getting frustrated, i got up from the table and went into the kitchen, asking sarah if i was being mean tonight or what. she said, 'yes', so i retired to my office couch for a siesta. well, the other night, i was trying to teach sonja how to calm down her body when she was getting excited. i told her to concentrate on moving slowly, and when she's in bed to keep her feet and hands still. i also had her close her eyes and picture the color pink. so after she finished eating tonight, she came to my office and found me staring. she asked if i was picturing the color green. i said that i was.
.
another small gem came earlier during dinner when we were discussing the son of a friend. the poor little guy had to go to the emergency room last night as he's a bit sick. the girls kept asking why he was sick, if he was still sick, and how he got a bug. most of the questions were unanswerable, but the bug part sparked a funny, yet short dialogue:
alex - "yeah, daddy had a bug too."
sarah - "that's right."
alex - "and i had a bug."
sarah - "mm-hmm."
alex - "and sonja."
sonja - "no! i didn't! i had a fever. i had a worm."
.
despite all this, i've done the unthinkable and checked my work email before going to work tomorrow. this is a mistake as it not only ruins today, but already helps me dread tomorrow more than i already was. and on top of the typical mountain of work which comes after a break from the job, i have another hill to tackle tomorrow. more to come on the latter...

the new life at montessori

well, the first two days of preschool are history. i must say that being there myself the last two days for new parent orientation has been an eye-opener into the difference between montessori and 'traditional' teaching methods. it's been more shocking to see the difference between montessori and how we discipline/teach. i've never been a teacher, but i can imagine it's a lot harder keeping your cool with your own kids in your own home versus a classroom setting. i'm not trying to justify my actions with the girls... just making an observation. however, i've been trying a lot harder the last couple of days to be a 'better' daddy. it's still been tough, and i think that's more of the girls trying to transition once again than it is them being unruly and incooperative. it will take time, but i'm still praying it turns out well for them... and in an indirect selfish light, for me as well.

.

outside of preschool, life has been good these last few days. one item of news has been the biggest blessing, but i'll save the details for when everything is finalized.

.

this past saturday, sarah invited her sister and a friend to play soccer in hudson. sarah and her sister each brought along their husbands and two kids a piece. so with the four of us, the four of the, and our friend, we had a 9-person, 2-car caravan to the soccer fields. post-soccer, we went over to the playground at the same park for the kids to have some fun before heading home. sonja asked if i would pretend to be a troll. i played stupid, pretending i didn't know what she was talking about. she responded in an interesting way to explain what she meant: "like when you were ben and sarah and we played troll at the park." apparently we're not ben and sarah anymore... i'm glad we're momma and daddy-o.

.

here are some pictures from the girls' first day of school (sonja in yello; alex in blue skirt):

.