we had the girls dedicated today. i know that sounds awfully catholic and even mystic. but like baptism, it simply allows us to stand in front of our church family and proclaim something. in baptism, we are shouting to the world that we are His. in dedicating the girls, all we are doing is asking witnesses to hold us accountable in raising our children for Jesus. this is what we want to do. this is what we would like our friends and family to embrace. this is how we would like our church family to support us.
.
the significance for us in doing this is something even deeper. to paraphrase what sarah wrote, we want the girls to understand the significance of their adoption someday. to realize that we too are adopted. when we chose to follow Christ, He adopted us as His son and daughter, much as He does with everyone who believes in Him. that's huge!
.
in dedicating the girls, the whole adoption process and all ramifactions were thrown back up in front of my face this morning. with that, pastor dan's sermon hit me in the gut.
.
dan spoke on james 1:1-12 where the apostle paul speaks of trials. there is quite an assortment of trails in the cosmic cookie jar. and while dan theorized that trials are unplanned, i disagreed to an extent. while most of the time, we don't sit down to schedule a miscarriage, a lay-off, or the death of a loved one, sometimes trials are scheduled.
.
through some miracle, God worked on my heart, and sarah and i scheduled to adopt the girls. my selfishness makes this a trial. and while my selfishness illuminated the trial to come, helping us realize it would happen, there are some trials we didn't see, nor schedule.
.
it has been almost 12 months to the day since sonja and alex jumped into our home. the trials have been plenty, and still continue in abundance. but those we have been able to overcome, my life is testimony to God's love, forgiveness, and faithfulness. He has loved us in providing for our needs through family, friends, and miraculous timing. He has been forgiving in all of my shortcomings... all of which only i can truly understand. and He has been faithful by keeping those promises He spoke through paul in the book of james. these trials have tested my faith, have formed my character, and provided wisdom. i have not arrived. i have not obtained all things. but one thing i do know... i continue onward, pressing toward that goal...
.
God would like you to live a life that is pure rather than a life that is comfortable. that's why there are trials. that's why there must be trials. what you do with them is more important than not having any. so prepare now.
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while some trials may leave us feeling as though we've been grounded in mud, face plastered into the muck, we know that we're called to live a life of faithfulness, not success. so don't expect perfection.
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again, i'm not here to say i've mastered this. i'm not here to say i'm an expert on the subject. i'm here to say it works. and while cliche to the ear, the truth is my only peace comes in knowing Jesus Christ and Him crucified. if it weren't for God's love, forgiveness, and faithfulness in my life, i know i would be a wreck. i'm prone to depression, bursts of anger, and selfishness of all sorts. what i am now is my testimony to Him.
.
ben bates... uncool, yet loved.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
and so this is christmas
this is the first year for me in which today does not feel like christmas, it's meaning dwarfed by a big birthday party, last minute 'basement shopping', no snow, the non-realness of santa... to name a few. the mad rush, the money, the decorating, the busyness... where's Jesus?
.
yesterday, the radio spat out "all of you is more than enough for all of me." but is it? in a world of materialism, it's easy to get caught searching for christmas in things seen. because Jesus isn't enough. we try to bring the meaning of the tree, presents, and time with family back to Jesus. justification. if we don't put up a tree, buy presents, or spend time with family, it's not christmas. we're stuck in a web of tradition, never really understanding the meaning. that's why most of my christmas looks the same as that of a jew, a hindu, or an atheist. other than mentioning Jesus under the tree between a blur of wrapping paper and toys, their christmases all have trees, presents, and family, just like me.
.
why be different?
.
merry christmas.
.
yesterday, the radio spat out "all of you is more than enough for all of me." but is it? in a world of materialism, it's easy to get caught searching for christmas in things seen. because Jesus isn't enough. we try to bring the meaning of the tree, presents, and time with family back to Jesus. justification. if we don't put up a tree, buy presents, or spend time with family, it's not christmas. we're stuck in a web of tradition, never really understanding the meaning. that's why most of my christmas looks the same as that of a jew, a hindu, or an atheist. other than mentioning Jesus under the tree between a blur of wrapping paper and toys, their christmases all have trees, presents, and family, just like me.
.
why be different?
.
merry christmas.
late... as usual
so as usual lately, i haven't had much free time. and what free time i've had has been spent trying to keep my eyes open. as such, i am late again... wanting to blog about the girls' first birthday with us...
.
last saturday was day 2 of the birthday celebration, though day being celebrated wasn't until sunday. a week from today, christmas, we celebrated at the girls' school. going to each classroom, we watched as the birthday girl walked a globe in a circle around a lit candle with the class singing "the earth goes around the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun. the earth goes around the sun, the sun, and (your child's name here) was (age)." this is sung to the tune of the wheels on the bus and is sung each time the earth goes around the sun. in other words, it was sung for year 1, year 2, year 3, year 4, and year 5 with a pause between each year to talk about what alex/sonja was like at that age. it was followed by a simple snack of homemade chex mix, and back to work i went.
.
saturday was the big party day. since it was the girls' first birthday under our roof, we decided to go all out... for us. we invited 31 children to a place called pump-it-up. if you've never heard of this, it's basically a big room designed for birthday parties, equipped with ceiling-high inflatable toys for the kids to run and jump, literally bouncing off the walls. counting our kids, only 15 children were present, which is somewhat sadly to be expected as their birthday is so near christmas.
.
the prior two weekends, sonja has gone to birthday parties. alex has not. as such, alex has been feeling somewhat unloved and unwelcomed in any group. sonja seems to have recently become the life of any gathering, while alex has become shy, quiet, and a loner. their party was no exception unfortunately. alex came up to be later during the jump fest wearing a pout. upon inquiring of her curious facial expression, i found she felt nobody would play with her. so daddy emptied his pockets, took off his shoes, and raced around the complex like a fellow 5-year old, romping with the lonely 5-year-old-to-be. we had a great time.
.
saturday night before bed was spent opening all of the presents received from the party. in typical small child fashion, the girls tore through the packaging, said a quick "wow", and jumped on the next package.
.
after church sunday, our families came over for some birthday fun. we sat around and chatted while the kids ran around like little wild animals. snacks, cake, ice cream, and presents were the order of the day, nothing disappointing. even mr. seth and miss nisha were there!
.
so the popular question lately is "are the girls ready for christmas?" and the favored reply: "they could care less. it's their birthday."
.
last saturday was day 2 of the birthday celebration, though day being celebrated wasn't until sunday. a week from today, christmas, we celebrated at the girls' school. going to each classroom, we watched as the birthday girl walked a globe in a circle around a lit candle with the class singing "the earth goes around the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun. the earth goes around the sun, the sun, and (your child's name here) was (age)." this is sung to the tune of the wheels on the bus and is sung each time the earth goes around the sun. in other words, it was sung for year 1, year 2, year 3, year 4, and year 5 with a pause between each year to talk about what alex/sonja was like at that age. it was followed by a simple snack of homemade chex mix, and back to work i went.
.
saturday was the big party day. since it was the girls' first birthday under our roof, we decided to go all out... for us. we invited 31 children to a place called pump-it-up. if you've never heard of this, it's basically a big room designed for birthday parties, equipped with ceiling-high inflatable toys for the kids to run and jump, literally bouncing off the walls. counting our kids, only 15 children were present, which is somewhat sadly to be expected as their birthday is so near christmas.
.
the prior two weekends, sonja has gone to birthday parties. alex has not. as such, alex has been feeling somewhat unloved and unwelcomed in any group. sonja seems to have recently become the life of any gathering, while alex has become shy, quiet, and a loner. their party was no exception unfortunately. alex came up to be later during the jump fest wearing a pout. upon inquiring of her curious facial expression, i found she felt nobody would play with her. so daddy emptied his pockets, took off his shoes, and raced around the complex like a fellow 5-year old, romping with the lonely 5-year-old-to-be. we had a great time.
.
saturday night before bed was spent opening all of the presents received from the party. in typical small child fashion, the girls tore through the packaging, said a quick "wow", and jumped on the next package.
.
after church sunday, our families came over for some birthday fun. we sat around and chatted while the kids ran around like little wild animals. snacks, cake, ice cream, and presents were the order of the day, nothing disappointing. even mr. seth and miss nisha were there!
.
so the popular question lately is "are the girls ready for christmas?" and the favored reply: "they could care less. it's their birthday."
Saturday, December 20, 2008
twas the week before christmas
this christmas marks our first with children. it's hard to believe that in a few weeks, i will have been a father for 12 months... but we have to get through christmas first.
.
last saturday, we went as a family to a tree farm. if you're one for a plastic look-alike in the corner of your living room, you may not understand this experience. the place we go to get our tree each year also has real reindeer and a gift shop where you can sit by the fire and drink some hot cocoa after playing paul bunyan. and the experience is so much more fun with two children... even if it involves whining in climbing the hill and spilled hot chocolate. but we got the tree home safe and sound, all decorated in the corner of our living room.
.
last sunday was week two for an invite to a birthday party... for sonja. poor alex has been left out, but that's not because she's unloved. she's just in different circles. but while sarah has taken sonja to her parties, alex and i have had some fun. last sunday involved watching dumbo and going to starbuck's for some hot chocolate. her bright little smile pours out "i'm loved and am loving it." our prayer is that she understands that, as she gets older, she is loved not only by us, but by Jesus as well.
.
on the way to starbuck's she explained that in 'real' golf, they use swingers to hit the ball into the little whole. as we turned the corner from that short conversation, we spied a hawk, to which she intelligently pointed out that "hawks eat small mammals." i'm sure they eat other types of small animals too, but i thought it was cute.
.
in our small group on monday, we talked about forgiveness... not necessarily asking for it, but also for giving it. asking can be hard, but giving is very difficult, especially when the one you're forgiving doesn't believe there is a reason they needed to be forgiven. my debts have been paid. why should you still owe me?
.
tuesday was a trek through a winter storm warning to watch sonja sing a few christmas songs to families of her classmates. what bright little children! sitting in her classroom that night made me realize that these types of things were something i hadn't thought of in raising children. growing up i couldn't wait for a children's choir to be over so the real music could begin. but now that i have children of my own, it's a completely different experience.
.
thursday... ah, thursday. yes, this was the day we decided to finally sit down and get our online christmas shopping done. most websites posted "tomorrow at noon is the last day to submit your order if you'd like to receive by december 24th." yikes! that's tomorrow! so needless to say, we were up until around 2:30 trying to get it all done. i just hope it all makes it in time, or we could have a couple of disappointed halflings!
.
last night we watched the polar express. i had heard mixed reviews, but after seeing i thought it was a well-presented movie. i can't say it made me a 'believer' though... probably because i know the Truth.
.
and today... i'll probably blog more about this later tonight, but today is the girls' birthday party. tomorrow they will be 5. it's an exciting time in the bates household as we prepare for a big celebration with family and friends. i can't wait!
.
so those are the anecdotes for the week.
.
spiritual significance has been stifled by work, planning a birthday, and budget woes this past week. my focus has honestly been elsewhere. i haven't stopped loving God, but i've definitely been ignoring Him. and when that happens, the ability to serve is lost. and during christmas, people need the Love i can point them to... but i have been selfish. in realizing this brokenness, i'm feeling open to change.
.
read www.jaredemerick.blogspot.com. when God speaks, act. don't hesitate.
.
last saturday, we went as a family to a tree farm. if you're one for a plastic look-alike in the corner of your living room, you may not understand this experience. the place we go to get our tree each year also has real reindeer and a gift shop where you can sit by the fire and drink some hot cocoa after playing paul bunyan. and the experience is so much more fun with two children... even if it involves whining in climbing the hill and spilled hot chocolate. but we got the tree home safe and sound, all decorated in the corner of our living room.
.
last sunday was week two for an invite to a birthday party... for sonja. poor alex has been left out, but that's not because she's unloved. she's just in different circles. but while sarah has taken sonja to her parties, alex and i have had some fun. last sunday involved watching dumbo and going to starbuck's for some hot chocolate. her bright little smile pours out "i'm loved and am loving it." our prayer is that she understands that, as she gets older, she is loved not only by us, but by Jesus as well.
.
on the way to starbuck's she explained that in 'real' golf, they use swingers to hit the ball into the little whole. as we turned the corner from that short conversation, we spied a hawk, to which she intelligently pointed out that "hawks eat small mammals." i'm sure they eat other types of small animals too, but i thought it was cute.
.
in our small group on monday, we talked about forgiveness... not necessarily asking for it, but also for giving it. asking can be hard, but giving is very difficult, especially when the one you're forgiving doesn't believe there is a reason they needed to be forgiven. my debts have been paid. why should you still owe me?
.
tuesday was a trek through a winter storm warning to watch sonja sing a few christmas songs to families of her classmates. what bright little children! sitting in her classroom that night made me realize that these types of things were something i hadn't thought of in raising children. growing up i couldn't wait for a children's choir to be over so the real music could begin. but now that i have children of my own, it's a completely different experience.
.
thursday... ah, thursday. yes, this was the day we decided to finally sit down and get our online christmas shopping done. most websites posted "tomorrow at noon is the last day to submit your order if you'd like to receive by december 24th." yikes! that's tomorrow! so needless to say, we were up until around 2:30 trying to get it all done. i just hope it all makes it in time, or we could have a couple of disappointed halflings!
.
last night we watched the polar express. i had heard mixed reviews, but after seeing i thought it was a well-presented movie. i can't say it made me a 'believer' though... probably because i know the Truth.
.
and today... i'll probably blog more about this later tonight, but today is the girls' birthday party. tomorrow they will be 5. it's an exciting time in the bates household as we prepare for a big celebration with family and friends. i can't wait!
.
so those are the anecdotes for the week.
.
spiritual significance has been stifled by work, planning a birthday, and budget woes this past week. my focus has honestly been elsewhere. i haven't stopped loving God, but i've definitely been ignoring Him. and when that happens, the ability to serve is lost. and during christmas, people need the Love i can point them to... but i have been selfish. in realizing this brokenness, i'm feeling open to change.
.
read www.jaredemerick.blogspot.com. when God speaks, act. don't hesitate.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
the courage of gift giving
since i'm staying home this morning with a sick alex, i figured i would take the time to do this. so we have movie #2 going, and my back is hot as i'm sitting up against a roaring fire. the only downside is having to go to work later.
.
but life has been good aside from feeling as though i should be doing more. we're slowly getting ready for the christmas season, our small group at church seems to be going well, and we're all relatively healthy (despite the current rampant cold). so much to be thankful for, yet feeling unfulfilled somehow. with all God has given me, i still find it hard to pass the blessings on to others who made need that gift more than myself. hard because i'm selfish. hard because i'm living in fear. but i can justify not doing more...
.
i don't pray as often as i should because i feel the words aren't there and i'm ill equipped. i don't spend as much time in God's Word as I should because i lack the time or will just fall asleep if i take the time. i don't give because my budget is alread tight. i don't spread the good news because i'm afraid of acceptance and am anti-confrentational. i don't love like i should because i've been led to a religion of facts versus a religion of relationship. i expect others to come to me what needs to be filled rather than seeking the broken. i'm reactive rather than proactive. and once i'm done feeling sorry for myself in these things, i essentially shrug it off and say, 'well, i've never been able to change this, so i'll just give up again.'
.
if i don't go above peoples' expectations and shine my life change in front everyone, i've denied God's power. i'm not here to convince the world Jesus is God and that He is alive and well today, working miracles like He always has. i'm here to point all i meet to the gift of God: Jesus. everyone is responsible for their own decision, so i can't take blame if i've shown them the change and they deny it. and do i believe Jesus will come again with judgement in my lifetime? i don't know... but it could happen. the potential end of this world is slowly spurring on my courage, whether or not it actually happens. my friend nathan once had a quote posted somewhere which i would love to adopt as my life motto: 'i want to live my life in such a way that the demons in hell know my name.' and as casting crowns lyricized: 'what if the amies of the Lord picked up and dusted off their swords? vowed to set the captive free, and not let satan have one more? ... took a stand upon God's promise, and stormed hell's rusty gates? what if His people prayed?'
.
may God bless you during this holiday season. see the truth. digest His promises. make the choice. i pray you will accept the gift.
.
but life has been good aside from feeling as though i should be doing more. we're slowly getting ready for the christmas season, our small group at church seems to be going well, and we're all relatively healthy (despite the current rampant cold). so much to be thankful for, yet feeling unfulfilled somehow. with all God has given me, i still find it hard to pass the blessings on to others who made need that gift more than myself. hard because i'm selfish. hard because i'm living in fear. but i can justify not doing more...
.
i don't pray as often as i should because i feel the words aren't there and i'm ill equipped. i don't spend as much time in God's Word as I should because i lack the time or will just fall asleep if i take the time. i don't give because my budget is alread tight. i don't spread the good news because i'm afraid of acceptance and am anti-confrentational. i don't love like i should because i've been led to a religion of facts versus a religion of relationship. i expect others to come to me what needs to be filled rather than seeking the broken. i'm reactive rather than proactive. and once i'm done feeling sorry for myself in these things, i essentially shrug it off and say, 'well, i've never been able to change this, so i'll just give up again.'
.
if i don't go above peoples' expectations and shine my life change in front everyone, i've denied God's power. i'm not here to convince the world Jesus is God and that He is alive and well today, working miracles like He always has. i'm here to point all i meet to the gift of God: Jesus. everyone is responsible for their own decision, so i can't take blame if i've shown them the change and they deny it. and do i believe Jesus will come again with judgement in my lifetime? i don't know... but it could happen. the potential end of this world is slowly spurring on my courage, whether or not it actually happens. my friend nathan once had a quote posted somewhere which i would love to adopt as my life motto: 'i want to live my life in such a way that the demons in hell know my name.' and as casting crowns lyricized: 'what if the amies of the Lord picked up and dusted off their swords? vowed to set the captive free, and not let satan have one more? ... took a stand upon God's promise, and stormed hell's rusty gates? what if His people prayed?'
.
may God bless you during this holiday season. see the truth. digest His promises. make the choice. i pray you will accept the gift.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
thanksgiving in a nut shell
i suppose thanksgiving is officially over... well, the holiday that is. but thanksgiving should never end, especially when you have so much to be thankful for as i do.
.
the last few days have gone relatively fast, though they have been wrought with some stress and a dash of busyness. two thanksgiving dinners in one day, work, shopping on black friday, out-of-town guests, and babysitting two extra animals is my proof (okay, the one animal is a hermit crab... so what?!).
.
though much has happened this week, i will keep this short... here are a few quotes from my holiday:
.
1) sarah: "if you didn't need a rooster to fertilize the eggs in order to get eggs from the chickens, then why did you have a rooster?"
sarah's mom: "i guess to keep all the hens happy."
.
2) sarah: "why did all the birds fly away and hide?"
alex: "because the incredible hawk was eating them."
.
3) sonja: "daddy, can you help me draw a bird?"
me: "i don't think i can draw a bird."
sonja: "yeah, sometimes when birds die, we have to trace them."
.
and that's that.
.
remember mumbai.
.
the last few days have gone relatively fast, though they have been wrought with some stress and a dash of busyness. two thanksgiving dinners in one day, work, shopping on black friday, out-of-town guests, and babysitting two extra animals is my proof (okay, the one animal is a hermit crab... so what?!).
.
though much has happened this week, i will keep this short... here are a few quotes from my holiday:
.
1) sarah: "if you didn't need a rooster to fertilize the eggs in order to get eggs from the chickens, then why did you have a rooster?"
sarah's mom: "i guess to keep all the hens happy."
.
2) sarah: "why did all the birds fly away and hide?"
alex: "because the incredible hawk was eating them."
.
3) sonja: "daddy, can you help me draw a bird?"
me: "i don't think i can draw a bird."
sonja: "yeah, sometimes when birds die, we have to trace them."
.
and that's that.
.
remember mumbai.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
i don't deserve this life
waking up at 6:15 on a saturday is okay in my book when it means an early cup of coffee with a group of men seeking to intensify their relationship with the God that created them. i think my book says early saturdays are also reserved for disc golf, but that was out of the question today.
.
after breakfast (or the cup of joe i had), i came home and watched barbie: the magic of the pegasus (or something like that) with the girls. it's amazing how a movie can be both obnoxiously hideous yet captivating all at the same time. i'd say the horribleness of it outweighed anything good though.
.
i picked up mr. seth around 10 a.m. to head to a new friend's house to chop some wood. todd, seth, and i loaded up seth's 'new' truck with some seasoned elm for my fireplace. after spending an hour-or-so in the 30-degree temperature with a chainsaw and a log splitter, we retired to todd's cottage for a cup of hot chocolate. his wife was an excellent hostess, which was perfect after a brief bit of work in the cold weather. todd then shipped us off with the hope of more logger outings (and maybe a snowmobile ride)... his wife shipped us off with brownies.
.
after dumping the wood in the driveway, i hit the kitchen for a bite to eat, then somehow fell asleep on the floor in my office. the girls got almost a 3-hour nap today, though mine wasn't quite as long. then it was up and back outside to stack the wood.
.
once i was done playing lumberjack for the day, and the girls had their fill of the snow, we retired indoors to a hot plate of spaghetti and home-made meatballs made by our own personal 5-star chef. this was followed by all watching a movie about another 5-star chef (ratatouille).
.
so once the kids hit the hay (9-ish), i headed back downstairs to dry about half the dishes (all of the dishes is too overwhelming at this point). it wasn't the job that did it, but i suddenly had that trapped and bored feeling i mentioned not long ago in a previous blog entry. it's gone now, but i think that's because i'm thinking back on the rest of my day to that point.
.
nothing like good Godly-men fellowship, a warm fire, a cup of hot cocoa, some time in the snow with the kids, a nice dinner made by a loving wife, and a relaxing evening to cap off another near perfect day. i haven't figured out why yet, but God loves me...
.
after breakfast (or the cup of joe i had), i came home and watched barbie: the magic of the pegasus (or something like that) with the girls. it's amazing how a movie can be both obnoxiously hideous yet captivating all at the same time. i'd say the horribleness of it outweighed anything good though.
.
i picked up mr. seth around 10 a.m. to head to a new friend's house to chop some wood. todd, seth, and i loaded up seth's 'new' truck with some seasoned elm for my fireplace. after spending an hour-or-so in the 30-degree temperature with a chainsaw and a log splitter, we retired to todd's cottage for a cup of hot chocolate. his wife was an excellent hostess, which was perfect after a brief bit of work in the cold weather. todd then shipped us off with the hope of more logger outings (and maybe a snowmobile ride)... his wife shipped us off with brownies.
.
after dumping the wood in the driveway, i hit the kitchen for a bite to eat, then somehow fell asleep on the floor in my office. the girls got almost a 3-hour nap today, though mine wasn't quite as long. then it was up and back outside to stack the wood.
.
once i was done playing lumberjack for the day, and the girls had their fill of the snow, we retired indoors to a hot plate of spaghetti and home-made meatballs made by our own personal 5-star chef. this was followed by all watching a movie about another 5-star chef (ratatouille).
.
so once the kids hit the hay (9-ish), i headed back downstairs to dry about half the dishes (all of the dishes is too overwhelming at this point). it wasn't the job that did it, but i suddenly had that trapped and bored feeling i mentioned not long ago in a previous blog entry. it's gone now, but i think that's because i'm thinking back on the rest of my day to that point.
.
nothing like good Godly-men fellowship, a warm fire, a cup of hot cocoa, some time in the snow with the kids, a nice dinner made by a loving wife, and a relaxing evening to cap off another near perfect day. i haven't figured out why yet, but God loves me...
Friday, November 21, 2008
today was "a hill"
my life is a chronic roller coaster. from my last blog, you'd think i'm depressed and ready for Christ's second coming. today was a 'cloud-9' day. but while i am eagerly awaiting eternity with the King, i'm not ready to take myself there. it will be in His time.
.
today was almost the perfect day. other than sitting in a meeting i didn't want to be in, i can't imagine much better. i went to work early, and since there was nothing to do like i thought there would be, i read my bible for a bit. then i worked some, took a coffee break, and worked some more. my 1-hour meeting ended with a food day, then i was picked up by my wife around 12:30 to come home for the day! since she had a doctor's appointment, i had the priviledge of staying home with the girls, which meant going outside to play in the 5-6 inches of snow. then we came in and started a fire, ate some pizza, and watched a movie. now it's just the wife and i with the fire and glass of wine... how romantic!
.
we did miss my cousin's little girl's 2nd birthday party, but i felt the snowfall was worth staying home. happy birthday delaney!!!
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and for those who doubt...
.
"sandeep's family had given up hope of ever seeing him cured from his mental illness. they had taken him to numerous hospitals, but he continued to suffer. finally, all they could do was bring him home. one day a christian visited sandeep's house. he encouraged the family to come to church and let pastor durai pray for sandeep's healing. filled with hope, they brought him to the church. when durai met them and heard their story, he sensed that they should have an extended time of praying and fasting. for eight days the believers joined together in fervent prayer. on the eighth day, as they were interceding, they realized that the young man was being attacked by demons. they continued in prayer, and sandeep was miraculously set free. the believers were overjoyed, and today sandeep is a follower of Jesus."
.
so now you either say (1) "yeah right", or (2) "wow, that's cool", and go on eating your dinner. either way, you deny God's power... unless you: (3) step out and embrace this power as a true follower of Him. let's pray for one another, that we can walk as Jesus walked...
.
today was almost the perfect day. other than sitting in a meeting i didn't want to be in, i can't imagine much better. i went to work early, and since there was nothing to do like i thought there would be, i read my bible for a bit. then i worked some, took a coffee break, and worked some more. my 1-hour meeting ended with a food day, then i was picked up by my wife around 12:30 to come home for the day! since she had a doctor's appointment, i had the priviledge of staying home with the girls, which meant going outside to play in the 5-6 inches of snow. then we came in and started a fire, ate some pizza, and watched a movie. now it's just the wife and i with the fire and glass of wine... how romantic!
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we did miss my cousin's little girl's 2nd birthday party, but i felt the snowfall was worth staying home. happy birthday delaney!!!
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and for those who doubt...
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"sandeep's family had given up hope of ever seeing him cured from his mental illness. they had taken him to numerous hospitals, but he continued to suffer. finally, all they could do was bring him home. one day a christian visited sandeep's house. he encouraged the family to come to church and let pastor durai pray for sandeep's healing. filled with hope, they brought him to the church. when durai met them and heard their story, he sensed that they should have an extended time of praying and fasting. for eight days the believers joined together in fervent prayer. on the eighth day, as they were interceding, they realized that the young man was being attacked by demons. they continued in prayer, and sandeep was miraculously set free. the believers were overjoyed, and today sandeep is a follower of Jesus."
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so now you either say (1) "yeah right", or (2) "wow, that's cool", and go on eating your dinner. either way, you deny God's power... unless you: (3) step out and embrace this power as a true follower of Him. let's pray for one another, that we can walk as Jesus walked...
Monday, November 17, 2008
like a bird in a cage
sorry. i already missed a day. until i get back into the swing of things, i'm sure i'll miss a day or two here and there. and if you can't read this font... you're getting old.
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i feel trapped. today the weight of repetition has consumed me. i'm bored. my sun rises and sets at the same time every day. while my work environment is changing slightly, the job doesn't. two children makes life interesting at home... but i'm still... frustrated, if that's the right word. i think it's just the feeling that i could and should be doing something more all while feeling inadequate for the task. even as a Christ follower, i still conciously believe satan's lies... i know the good i ought to do, but don't do it because of my apparent shortcomings. my iron has not been sharpened, and i'm in need of a blacksmith. i can't be a craftsman without first being an apprentice. how does one know what kind of pot they were designed to be? i've been given the Bible, and i've read every word, but the Master doesn't speak english to me.
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i'm not where i should be. but where am i? where should i be going? how do i get there?
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i feel trapped. today the weight of repetition has consumed me. i'm bored. my sun rises and sets at the same time every day. while my work environment is changing slightly, the job doesn't. two children makes life interesting at home... but i'm still... frustrated, if that's the right word. i think it's just the feeling that i could and should be doing something more all while feeling inadequate for the task. even as a Christ follower, i still conciously believe satan's lies... i know the good i ought to do, but don't do it because of my apparent shortcomings. my iron has not been sharpened, and i'm in need of a blacksmith. i can't be a craftsman without first being an apprentice. how does one know what kind of pot they were designed to be? i've been given the Bible, and i've read every word, but the Master doesn't speak english to me.
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i'm not where i should be. but where am i? where should i be going? how do i get there?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
it's been a while...
a new friend emailed me a sermon his pastor gave not long ago on forgiveness. in reading it today and subsequently being asked to pick the blog back up again, I feel the need to ask for forgiveness if you are among the few who read this even semi-consistenly.
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rather than update my life since october 8th, we'll just hit recent past...
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last weekend was my best bud's wedding. the cermony was great as is the couple God has brought together. the holy unity of marriage is an exciting thing, and sarah and i can't seem to stop thinking happy thoughts for them now and for their future in serving side-by-side. as part of the bridal party, it was an honor to spend a few days with mr. forte and his groomsmen, each of which were solid christians dead on the straight and narrow path towards heaven's gates. i left the weekend like i would leave a mission trip... sad and feeling empty at the thought of having to go back to work on monday. every conversation over the weekend seemed to come back to God, what He was teaching us, love for the lost, etc. iron doesn't seem to care to sharpen iron in these parts...
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the drive back from circleville was among the highlights of the weekend, as it gave me a couple of hours to be alone with my wife since... well... our anniversary... ? and the spiritual talk did't stop in the car, so it was even more pleasant with God present.
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it was a rough work week, and i felt myself thinking rather unchristianly on many occasions despite the highly christian oriented weekend i had just experienced. during one of my boughts, i was listening to a song which gave me these words: "will you stay the same or will you fight? you decide. who will you run to? run to life. there is no reason for you to hide. you decide." it struck me then how i had been acting... well, thinking really. this song challenged me to fight. fight the spiritual battle raging inside me... to change. to allow God's love to change me. i choose life. i decided.
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so back to the email from my new friend, also a groomsman at the wedding. though feeling many injustices this week, i feel bad for my mental, unseen behavior, but i feel good that i can forgive the few wrongs done to me, being reminded of the many wrongs i've done against Him. at the end of the sermon/email, the pastor said you should forgive, but not necessarily trust. i agree, but...
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the Bible says to love our neighbor and to love our enemies. it also says that love always trusts. if we're to love everyone, and in doing so trust, how can we forgive and not trust, but remain under God's instruction. i believe the pastor is right, but do you?
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school has been going well with the girls, and i think they're really coming along academically, socially, and in self-discipline. they still have a long way to go, but they're only 4, and i have a long way to go at 27. we had our first parent-teacher conferences, and both teachers had great things to say about each of our children... encouraging things! so as a dad, i see even more hope, and will continue to pray for their little souls.
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yearning to love others,
ben
.
rather than update my life since october 8th, we'll just hit recent past...
.
last weekend was my best bud's wedding. the cermony was great as is the couple God has brought together. the holy unity of marriage is an exciting thing, and sarah and i can't seem to stop thinking happy thoughts for them now and for their future in serving side-by-side. as part of the bridal party, it was an honor to spend a few days with mr. forte and his groomsmen, each of which were solid christians dead on the straight and narrow path towards heaven's gates. i left the weekend like i would leave a mission trip... sad and feeling empty at the thought of having to go back to work on monday. every conversation over the weekend seemed to come back to God, what He was teaching us, love for the lost, etc. iron doesn't seem to care to sharpen iron in these parts...
.
the drive back from circleville was among the highlights of the weekend, as it gave me a couple of hours to be alone with my wife since... well... our anniversary... ? and the spiritual talk did't stop in the car, so it was even more pleasant with God present.
.
it was a rough work week, and i felt myself thinking rather unchristianly on many occasions despite the highly christian oriented weekend i had just experienced. during one of my boughts, i was listening to a song which gave me these words: "will you stay the same or will you fight? you decide. who will you run to? run to life. there is no reason for you to hide. you decide." it struck me then how i had been acting... well, thinking really. this song challenged me to fight. fight the spiritual battle raging inside me... to change. to allow God's love to change me. i choose life. i decided.
.
so back to the email from my new friend, also a groomsman at the wedding. though feeling many injustices this week, i feel bad for my mental, unseen behavior, but i feel good that i can forgive the few wrongs done to me, being reminded of the many wrongs i've done against Him. at the end of the sermon/email, the pastor said you should forgive, but not necessarily trust. i agree, but...
.
the Bible says to love our neighbor and to love our enemies. it also says that love always trusts. if we're to love everyone, and in doing so trust, how can we forgive and not trust, but remain under God's instruction. i believe the pastor is right, but do you?
.
school has been going well with the girls, and i think they're really coming along academically, socially, and in self-discipline. they still have a long way to go, but they're only 4, and i have a long way to go at 27. we had our first parent-teacher conferences, and both teachers had great things to say about each of our children... encouraging things! so as a dad, i see even more hope, and will continue to pray for their little souls.
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yearning to love others,
ben
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
under the microscope
being a christian is quite inconvenient. you're expected to live a certain way and therefore live under a microscope. if you slip one time, no matter how bad you feel and how deeply you apologize, you're still labelled a hypocrite. and the ones labelling you are then able to use you as an excuse for their unbelief... way to go you.
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think about this: in james, we read that "anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do, yet does not do it, sins." ouch! that means everytime i ignore that good idea, i'm sinning. or what about "anyone who claims to be in christ should walk as jesus did." ouch! i either (a) can't claim to be in christ, or (b) i've got a pretty stinkin high calling to attain.
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it's easy to talk it. it's hard to do it.
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think about this: in james, we read that "anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do, yet does not do it, sins." ouch! that means everytime i ignore that good idea, i'm sinning. or what about "anyone who claims to be in christ should walk as jesus did." ouch! i either (a) can't claim to be in christ, or (b) i've got a pretty stinkin high calling to attain.
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it's easy to talk it. it's hard to do it.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
staycation not a break from selfishness
as my staycation draws to a close, i'm realizing once again how selfish i am. after starting a men's disc golf group at church a month-or-so ago, typically 0 men show up each week to play, including this afternoon. upon returning home somewhat defeated after the lack of turn-out, i found my inlaws had dropped by for an unexpected visit. this is fine and all, though i was feeling somewhat down, the girls needed a nap, and my selfishness didn't want to end my week off of work with this type of heightened stress. so i mowed the lawn, though rather less successfully than i'd have liked as the push mower wouldn't start, leaving trim work a bit choppy. daddy andrew's peer pressure led all three children into my weed patch, resulting in berries of some sort ending up all over the girls' shoes and clothes as well as the road, which looked like three small animals had been slaughtered at the end of my driveway.
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the highlight of the day came just after dinner. after everything had 'calmed' down, daddy wasn't mean, but a bit impatient with bad listening, chewing with mouths open, etc. getting frustrated, i got up from the table and went into the kitchen, asking sarah if i was being mean tonight or what. she said, 'yes', so i retired to my office couch for a siesta. well, the other night, i was trying to teach sonja how to calm down her body when she was getting excited. i told her to concentrate on moving slowly, and when she's in bed to keep her feet and hands still. i also had her close her eyes and picture the color pink. so after she finished eating tonight, she came to my office and found me staring. she asked if i was picturing the color green. i said that i was.
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another small gem came earlier during dinner when we were discussing the son of a friend. the poor little guy had to go to the emergency room last night as he's a bit sick. the girls kept asking why he was sick, if he was still sick, and how he got a bug. most of the questions were unanswerable, but the bug part sparked a funny, yet short dialogue:
alex - "yeah, daddy had a bug too."
sarah - "that's right."
alex - "and i had a bug."
sarah - "mm-hmm."
alex - "and sonja."
sonja - "no! i didn't! i had a fever. i had a worm."
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despite all this, i've done the unthinkable and checked my work email before going to work tomorrow. this is a mistake as it not only ruins today, but already helps me dread tomorrow more than i already was. and on top of the typical mountain of work which comes after a break from the job, i have another hill to tackle tomorrow. more to come on the latter...
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the highlight of the day came just after dinner. after everything had 'calmed' down, daddy wasn't mean, but a bit impatient with bad listening, chewing with mouths open, etc. getting frustrated, i got up from the table and went into the kitchen, asking sarah if i was being mean tonight or what. she said, 'yes', so i retired to my office couch for a siesta. well, the other night, i was trying to teach sonja how to calm down her body when she was getting excited. i told her to concentrate on moving slowly, and when she's in bed to keep her feet and hands still. i also had her close her eyes and picture the color pink. so after she finished eating tonight, she came to my office and found me staring. she asked if i was picturing the color green. i said that i was.
.
another small gem came earlier during dinner when we were discussing the son of a friend. the poor little guy had to go to the emergency room last night as he's a bit sick. the girls kept asking why he was sick, if he was still sick, and how he got a bug. most of the questions were unanswerable, but the bug part sparked a funny, yet short dialogue:
alex - "yeah, daddy had a bug too."
sarah - "that's right."
alex - "and i had a bug."
sarah - "mm-hmm."
alex - "and sonja."
sonja - "no! i didn't! i had a fever. i had a worm."
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despite all this, i've done the unthinkable and checked my work email before going to work tomorrow. this is a mistake as it not only ruins today, but already helps me dread tomorrow more than i already was. and on top of the typical mountain of work which comes after a break from the job, i have another hill to tackle tomorrow. more to come on the latter...
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
the new life at montessori
well, the first two days of preschool are history. i must say that being there myself the last two days for new parent orientation has been an eye-opener into the difference between montessori and 'traditional' teaching methods. it's been more shocking to see the difference between montessori and how we discipline/teach. i've never been a teacher, but i can imagine it's a lot harder keeping your cool with your own kids in your own home versus a classroom setting. i'm not trying to justify my actions with the girls... just making an observation. however, i've been trying a lot harder the last couple of days to be a 'better' daddy. it's still been tough, and i think that's more of the girls trying to transition once again than it is them being unruly and incooperative. it will take time, but i'm still praying it turns out well for them... and in an indirect selfish light, for me as well.
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outside of preschool, life has been good these last few days. one item of news has been the biggest blessing, but i'll save the details for when everything is finalized.
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this past saturday, sarah invited her sister and a friend to play soccer in hudson. sarah and her sister each brought along their husbands and two kids a piece. so with the four of us, the four of the, and our friend, we had a 9-person, 2-car caravan to the soccer fields. post-soccer, we went over to the playground at the same park for the kids to have some fun before heading home. sonja asked if i would pretend to be a troll. i played stupid, pretending i didn't know what she was talking about. she responded in an interesting way to explain what she meant: "like when you were ben and sarah and we played troll at the park." apparently we're not ben and sarah anymore... i'm glad we're momma and daddy-o.
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here are some pictures from the girls' first day of school (sonja in yello; alex in blue skirt):
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Friday, August 29, 2008
being vague
it's been a couple/few days since my last entry, though the last couple/few days have not been without action... most of wish i wouldn't hide but would rather discuss in person if you care enough to ask the next time we meet face-to-face.
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thursday morning, alex was eating breakfast while i stood in the kitchen waiting for who-knows-what. she asks: "dad, what has feathers and flies?"
me: "a bird?"
alex: "no no no."
me: "what're you talking about?"
alex: "it's first name starts with an 'a'."
me: "it's first name?"
alex: "yeah. it's a reptile."
me (finally realizing my daughter's dinosaur fetish): "an archaeoptrix?"
alex: "yeah!!! a archenotrick."
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rather than working at firstmerit today, i took the day away from the bank and decided to do work from home. this means i was in charge of getting the girls up and ready for the day, running them to hudson for their preschool interview, running them home for lunch, running them to medina for a dentist appointment, then running them home for the rest of the day. whew... underwriting loans isn't so difficult afterwards.
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sarah got a hair cut today. considering she went to someone new, i was relieved to see how beautiful she continues to be regardless the hair.
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but aside from the outside, it was a difficult few days. again, i won't talk on the blog about much of it, but the most of it was just dealing with tired little girls who decided to leave their listening ears at home all day. i try to keep my patience and wonder how god does it with me. it's hard to believe sometimes that god never says "enough... i give up on you emotionally for the day!" i don't verbalize it, but it's easy to do.
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so in fewer words, i'm looking forward to the extended weekend. not only will it be packed with family, friends, food, and fun, but i'm followng it up with a week off of work! i'll have my share of things to do, but i'm looking forward to the much needed break from work.
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until then... i need a good night's rest...
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thursday morning, alex was eating breakfast while i stood in the kitchen waiting for who-knows-what. she asks: "dad, what has feathers and flies?"
me: "a bird?"
alex: "no no no."
me: "what're you talking about?"
alex: "it's first name starts with an 'a'."
me: "it's first name?"
alex: "yeah. it's a reptile."
me (finally realizing my daughter's dinosaur fetish): "an archaeoptrix?"
alex: "yeah!!! a archenotrick."
.
rather than working at firstmerit today, i took the day away from the bank and decided to do work from home. this means i was in charge of getting the girls up and ready for the day, running them to hudson for their preschool interview, running them home for lunch, running them to medina for a dentist appointment, then running them home for the rest of the day. whew... underwriting loans isn't so difficult afterwards.
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sarah got a hair cut today. considering she went to someone new, i was relieved to see how beautiful she continues to be regardless the hair.
.
but aside from the outside, it was a difficult few days. again, i won't talk on the blog about much of it, but the most of it was just dealing with tired little girls who decided to leave their listening ears at home all day. i try to keep my patience and wonder how god does it with me. it's hard to believe sometimes that god never says "enough... i give up on you emotionally for the day!" i don't verbalize it, but it's easy to do.
.
so in fewer words, i'm looking forward to the extended weekend. not only will it be packed with family, friends, food, and fun, but i'm followng it up with a week off of work! i'll have my share of things to do, but i'm looking forward to the much needed break from work.
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until then... i need a good night's rest...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
minor pleasantries
sarah usually does the grocery shopping on saturdays. due to our crazy schedule lately, she wasn't able to hit to food isles until today. as such, my morning started without breakfast, though i was able to pour a cup of joe before i left for work.
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work this morning was nothing to speak of. just another day in fmer paradise.
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this afternoon brought a couple of different pleasantries. first was a pretty funny dialogue between myself and my buddy, tony. he was asking me how to go about getting a copy of ones college transcripts. i said...
"wow, i have no clue. maybe call the office of the registrar?"
tony: "how did you think of that?!"
me: "i dunno. you have to start somewhere."
tony: "but how'd you know to call mike dobbs?"
me: "who?!?"
tony: "mike dobbs."
me: "who's mike dobbs?"
tony: "you just said you'd start with mike dobbs."
me (laughing): "i said 'office of the registrar.'"
anyway... that was the joke all day... if you didn't know how to find something, you'd just call mike dobbs... he's a real nice guy. likes sushi.
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my afternoon was capped with a meeting in which the president of the bank showed up. he didn't say much, but when you're the president of a bank, you don't have to.
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then i came home, ate dinner, and spent 2 hours mowing my lawn.
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so those are the facts of today. nothing super special, but always a few minor pleasantries to get me through.
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work this morning was nothing to speak of. just another day in fmer paradise.
.
this afternoon brought a couple of different pleasantries. first was a pretty funny dialogue between myself and my buddy, tony. he was asking me how to go about getting a copy of ones college transcripts. i said...
"wow, i have no clue. maybe call the office of the registrar?"
tony: "how did you think of that?!"
me: "i dunno. you have to start somewhere."
tony: "but how'd you know to call mike dobbs?"
me: "who?!?"
tony: "mike dobbs."
me: "who's mike dobbs?"
tony: "you just said you'd start with mike dobbs."
me (laughing): "i said 'office of the registrar.'"
anyway... that was the joke all day... if you didn't know how to find something, you'd just call mike dobbs... he's a real nice guy. likes sushi.
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my afternoon was capped with a meeting in which the president of the bank showed up. he didn't say much, but when you're the president of a bank, you don't have to.
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then i came home, ate dinner, and spent 2 hours mowing my lawn.
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so those are the facts of today. nothing super special, but always a few minor pleasantries to get me through.
Monday, August 25, 2008
where dinosaurs and dalmations came from
i hated work today. for no real reason(s), i was angry with it. you name it, i found it, and was mad at it. funny how i became instantly healed of the matter when i walked through my door at home. i say funny b/c i left home somewhat hectic this morning as the first day of a new schedule began for us. with sarah's first day of work being today, it was the first time we all had to be out of bed at 6 a.m. i'm usually up at 5, but this was different. i remember things getting hectic growing up, trying to get four people ready to go to separate places... things haven't changed.
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though i slept in a bit later than usual today, i was still extremely tired all day. nodding off in front of the computer and on top of my bible were good signs that i needed to get out of there. too bad 8 hours is 8 hours, regardless the situation.
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outside of work, life was great today. we went to our monday night real life group, where conversation is stimulating and the company is welcoming.
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so i guess i'm ready for bed now, though i wanted to leave you with a quote by alex from yesterday which i forgot to include in my entry last night: "i created the tyrannasaurus rex when spot was in my tummy." first off, i thought this was amazing that, not only can she pronounce tyrannasaurus rex, but that i thought god created dinosaurs... here all along it was my 4-year-old. secondly, spot is a stuffed dalmation... enough said there.
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i hope you had a good one!
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though i slept in a bit later than usual today, i was still extremely tired all day. nodding off in front of the computer and on top of my bible were good signs that i needed to get out of there. too bad 8 hours is 8 hours, regardless the situation.
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outside of work, life was great today. we went to our monday night real life group, where conversation is stimulating and the company is welcoming.
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so i guess i'm ready for bed now, though i wanted to leave you with a quote by alex from yesterday which i forgot to include in my entry last night: "i created the tyrannasaurus rex when spot was in my tummy." first off, i thought this was amazing that, not only can she pronounce tyrannasaurus rex, but that i thought god created dinosaurs... here all along it was my 4-year-old. secondly, spot is a stuffed dalmation... enough said there.
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i hope you had a good one!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
another busy week begins
this morning woke me up in a similar fashion to yesterday, though not as abrupt. only one little thumper was knocking my subconcious awake. upon going upstairs to see what the commotion was about, i found sonja still 80% asleep with alex on the floor amidst a nice nest she had recently constructed out of 5-6 blankets. so while 'momma' and 'daddyo' were up in the girls' room making sure they were getting up, a couple of cute dialogues ensued...
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momma climbed up on sonja's bed to help wake her up. while she was up there, they were giggling and carrying on while i talked to alex. well, something silly happened up on the bed, and i looked at alex and asked, "what are they doing up there?" to which she replied, "wallowing." she's four years old... do most four-year olds used the word 'wallowing'? of course she can pronounce 'hipsolophodon' (sp?) better than most kids 6 times her age.
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then momma pulled her hair up all funny, and i thought i'd be funny and asked, "doesn't momma look totally '80s?" this time, sonja replied: "yeah, totally '84!"... like she knows what that means... she was born in '03 for crying out loud!
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since we were planning to have company all afternoon and had not yet cleaned the house, sweeping and dishes were the order of the morning, on top of getting ready for church.
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today was our new pastor's second week speaking to the congregation, and he did another fine job talking about our relationship with god. there are a lot of worldy metaphors we subconciously use to describe how/why we relate to god, and they're usually wrong. we see him like a boy scout sees patches: do the work, get the patch. we see him like we see our fathers: sometimes a dad will only notice a child when they're doing something wrong. etc.
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our new friend's husband (whom we haven't met yet) was sick today, so she came to church with her two kids. sarah forgot she had a meeting during that service, so abby and i sat together alone... somewhat awkward...
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then sarah, abby, and the four kids betwixt the two hung out at our house all day while i went and played disc golf with another new friend, sean/shawn. it was his first time playing, but he said he'd do it again, so it wasn't a total loss on the day. i shot a +4 and didn't complain one bit.
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but tomorrow starts another busy week, with something going on every evening except friday, which decided to move it's to-do list to an afternoon dentist appointment. i could use a vacation... ah well, maybe next week...
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guess i should go check on the girls for the 5th time in the last two hours... they should be sleeping by now...
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momma climbed up on sonja's bed to help wake her up. while she was up there, they were giggling and carrying on while i talked to alex. well, something silly happened up on the bed, and i looked at alex and asked, "what are they doing up there?" to which she replied, "wallowing." she's four years old... do most four-year olds used the word 'wallowing'? of course she can pronounce 'hipsolophodon' (sp?) better than most kids 6 times her age.
.
then momma pulled her hair up all funny, and i thought i'd be funny and asked, "doesn't momma look totally '80s?" this time, sonja replied: "yeah, totally '84!"... like she knows what that means... she was born in '03 for crying out loud!
.
since we were planning to have company all afternoon and had not yet cleaned the house, sweeping and dishes were the order of the morning, on top of getting ready for church.
.
today was our new pastor's second week speaking to the congregation, and he did another fine job talking about our relationship with god. there are a lot of worldy metaphors we subconciously use to describe how/why we relate to god, and they're usually wrong. we see him like a boy scout sees patches: do the work, get the patch. we see him like we see our fathers: sometimes a dad will only notice a child when they're doing something wrong. etc.
.
our new friend's husband (whom we haven't met yet) was sick today, so she came to church with her two kids. sarah forgot she had a meeting during that service, so abby and i sat together alone... somewhat awkward...
.
then sarah, abby, and the four kids betwixt the two hung out at our house all day while i went and played disc golf with another new friend, sean/shawn. it was his first time playing, but he said he'd do it again, so it wasn't a total loss on the day. i shot a +4 and didn't complain one bit.
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but tomorrow starts another busy week, with something going on every evening except friday, which decided to move it's to-do list to an afternoon dentist appointment. i could use a vacation... ah well, maybe next week...
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guess i should go check on the girls for the 5th time in the last two hours... they should be sleeping by now...
Saturday, August 23, 2008
i wouldn't trade it for the world...
around 7 a.m. this morning, i could have sworn a herd of diplodocus stormed through the second story of my home. either they were being chased by a t-rex, or it was just the twins. either way, if you have one or more kids, you know this feeling. though you wake up at 5 a.m. monday through friday, 7 a.m. on a saturday is still very early when that not-so-accurate cliche pops into your mind: "ah, the pitter patter of little feet." good-bye sleeping in. but i wouldn't trade it for the world...
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i tend to be behind on my bible reading every saturday, so i try to cram in a day or two while sarah's off at soccer and the girls are off in the upstairs prehistoric jungle. i was reading through ecclesiastes this morning, and the real life context in which i sat to read brought a lot to life. the girls didn't play upstairs this morning, but sat down in the living room while i read, interrupting my deep thought process every minute or so. so ecclesiastes and the world in which i sat overlapped: what i read was meaningless with all the interruptions. but i wouldn't trade it for the world...
.
mom and dad's church held their annual corn roast today, to which we were all invited. lots of great food with some good company followed by photographing everyone's children on the playground and a short walk around the quaint park pond was the order for the day. the temperature was hot, and i didn't actually eat any corn... but i wouldn't trade it for the world...
.
then it was home for a bit before heading off for a round of disc golf with dad. though we played the short tees (hey, i'm man enough to admit it), i felt very good with ending at a -3 since whoever upkeeps the course has recently moved most of the 18 baskets around 15-20 feet further from the tees. it got dark enough that after the first 18, we only played another 5. we shot those from the long tees; i shot those 5 holes at +2. but i wouldn't have traded it for the world...
.
and here i am, feeling blessed to have had such a day. the only thing more i could pray for is that god would grant you such a day, filled with food, friends, family, and fun. why can't every day be as enjoyable? but i wouldn't trade it for the world...
.
here is a picture from today of two really cute twins (not the two ugly guys with the beards):
.
.
i tend to be behind on my bible reading every saturday, so i try to cram in a day or two while sarah's off at soccer and the girls are off in the upstairs prehistoric jungle. i was reading through ecclesiastes this morning, and the real life context in which i sat to read brought a lot to life. the girls didn't play upstairs this morning, but sat down in the living room while i read, interrupting my deep thought process every minute or so. so ecclesiastes and the world in which i sat overlapped: what i read was meaningless with all the interruptions. but i wouldn't trade it for the world...
.
mom and dad's church held their annual corn roast today, to which we were all invited. lots of great food with some good company followed by photographing everyone's children on the playground and a short walk around the quaint park pond was the order for the day. the temperature was hot, and i didn't actually eat any corn... but i wouldn't trade it for the world...
.
then it was home for a bit before heading off for a round of disc golf with dad. though we played the short tees (hey, i'm man enough to admit it), i felt very good with ending at a -3 since whoever upkeeps the course has recently moved most of the 18 baskets around 15-20 feet further from the tees. it got dark enough that after the first 18, we only played another 5. we shot those from the long tees; i shot those 5 holes at +2. but i wouldn't have traded it for the world...
.
and here i am, feeling blessed to have had such a day. the only thing more i could pray for is that god would grant you such a day, filled with food, friends, family, and fun. why can't every day be as enjoyable? but i wouldn't trade it for the world...
.
here is a picture from today of two really cute twins (not the two ugly guys with the beards):
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Friday, August 22, 2008
blogger dropout = me
wow! it's been a loooong time since my last blog...
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well, i won't waste time updating you on everything that's happened since my last entry. hopefully i'll publish a book someday and you can check out the details then.
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the short of it is... things are falling into place by the lord's grace...
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sarah starts her new job on monday. we found out only today that we will be able to get financial aid for the girls to attend school where sarah will be working, which is HUGE! this gift and the several gifts of many close individuals has brought us a total of over $10k in the last two weeks!!! months of groaning to the lord in faith have shown his grace on our lives once again. we have found reassurance that things will be okay. though there are many more struggles to come, we know we'll go through them with him.
.
i'm not going to burn myself out in one blog, so i'm going to sign off for now. if you're reading this, check back soon, as i hope to stay on top this... again.
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may god bless you today!
.
well, i won't waste time updating you on everything that's happened since my last entry. hopefully i'll publish a book someday and you can check out the details then.
.
the short of it is... things are falling into place by the lord's grace...
.
sarah starts her new job on monday. we found out only today that we will be able to get financial aid for the girls to attend school where sarah will be working, which is HUGE! this gift and the several gifts of many close individuals has brought us a total of over $10k in the last two weeks!!! months of groaning to the lord in faith have shown his grace on our lives once again. we have found reassurance that things will be okay. though there are many more struggles to come, we know we'll go through them with him.
.
i'm not going to burn myself out in one blog, so i'm going to sign off for now. if you're reading this, check back soon, as i hope to stay on top this... again.
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may god bless you today!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
a rainy week of vbs
so it's been another week since my last entry. and in all fairness, we have been busy for the last 7 days. last saturday was a trip to the akron zoo, and sunday afternoon and every evening of this past week was 2 hours per night of vacation bible school, where sarah and i were in charge of pre-school games each night. needless to say, i was too tired to write for the past week. that and the neighbor's tree fell on the power lines last saturday, killing our cable internet for a few days.
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but it's been a good week. though i don't do good in a room full of screaming little children, god blessed me by helping me die to my bad attitude and to enjoy the week as a whole. it had some rough points... like some crazy boys with no ears and a little girl tripping and smashing her face on the stage... but again, it was a good week.
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the book herb dropped off last friday has been awesome, and i've thankfully had time to read through the first 7 chapters. it's been quite convicting, and i'm praying god will change me through these pages.
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i pulled in the driveway last night to a heavy downpour... what else is new after this week? it's been at least a 60% chance of rain since my last blog, and it's acted like a 90% chance. but anyway, as i came up the back steps, sarah was coming out the door onto the porch with the girls. while we said our 'hellos' and i went inside to get changed into something more comfortable, i heard sarah trying to convince the girls to run out into the rain and have some fun splashing in the puddles. i would have liked this as a child, but am a stick in the mud anymore. but to their amazement, and my own, i ran into the bedroom, changed as quickly as possible, then sprinted out the door, down the stairs and into the rain, encouraging all to follow. we had a blast lapping the house and splashing in the ever-annoying puddle that likes to form at the bottom of our back stairs. we all got soaked to the bone and had a great time doing it.
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after playing in the rain:
Friday, June 20, 2008
transform your minds
today was an early wake-up call and a monotonous morning. but since i went in early and worked through lunch, i broke out of the office a little after 3:30.
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i still don't know where things are going, but i'm remaining prayerful and hopeful. though upcoming events may not mean the best, all are drawing my attention to what god has in store for us financially. my second job has picked up more extra hours in the last week or two than prior history. sarah will be doing some babysitting next week and throughout the remainder of the summer. though it hasn't picked up yet, i'm trying to sell baby tulip poplars which have sprung up everywhere around our yard. we both have updates on potential jobs early next week, and a unanimous brother/sister in christ left us $200 tonight to help carry some expenses until the famine breaks. what perfect timing after having to drop nearly $600 on my car for tires, a new coolant tube, and an oil change!
.
mom and dad came for dinner-and-a-movie night. they had bought the girls big wheels, so we played in the street for a little while first. sarah always makes exceptional meals, and her friday night pizza is no exception. then the movie for the night was 13 pixar short films back-to-back. i still like for the birds the best if you ever get a chance to check it out.
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our friends herb and elaine are the couple leading our monday night group right now. they stopped by tonight to drop off the mysterious $200 and a book the guys of the group are reading through. they meet every other saturday morning for breakfast and to discuss. they're around chapter 7, so i have some catching up to do, but i have until next saturday. it's a book called good to great in god's eyes: ten practices great christians have in common by chip ingram. if you've been reading my blogs of recent past, you'll know where my heart has been lately. and the first line on the back of this book pumped me up and motivated me to break it open: "are you tired of the status quo christian life?" the first chapter was about thinking great thoughts... meaning if you dwell on the negative or what the world tells you to think, you're doomed to a life of mediocricy. dwell on god's kingdom and doing his work, and the world doesn't matter anymore. it gave great ideas like memorizing scripture about how god loves you unconditionally. take a 48-hour media fast and use usual tv time during the fast to read your bible, pray, or listen to worship music. the whole concept is to transform our minds and to dwell on those things which are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, good repute... anything excellent and worthy of praise.
.
hopefully we're off to the zoo tomorrow, where we can bask in the greatness of god's creation. he's created some amazing diversity on our world, and i'm looking forward to worshipping and learning.
.
no picture today, but i'll leave you with this verse... think great thoughts... "the lord your god is with you, he is mighty to save. he will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (zephaniah 3:17)... as chip ingrim put it, "what if you woke up each morning thinking about the god of the universe singing a song of rejoicing over you?" dwell on that thought... would that change your life and current way of thinking? it has kept me changing already...
.
i still don't know where things are going, but i'm remaining prayerful and hopeful. though upcoming events may not mean the best, all are drawing my attention to what god has in store for us financially. my second job has picked up more extra hours in the last week or two than prior history. sarah will be doing some babysitting next week and throughout the remainder of the summer. though it hasn't picked up yet, i'm trying to sell baby tulip poplars which have sprung up everywhere around our yard. we both have updates on potential jobs early next week, and a unanimous brother/sister in christ left us $200 tonight to help carry some expenses until the famine breaks. what perfect timing after having to drop nearly $600 on my car for tires, a new coolant tube, and an oil change!
.
mom and dad came for dinner-and-a-movie night. they had bought the girls big wheels, so we played in the street for a little while first. sarah always makes exceptional meals, and her friday night pizza is no exception. then the movie for the night was 13 pixar short films back-to-back. i still like for the birds the best if you ever get a chance to check it out.
.
our friends herb and elaine are the couple leading our monday night group right now. they stopped by tonight to drop off the mysterious $200 and a book the guys of the group are reading through. they meet every other saturday morning for breakfast and to discuss. they're around chapter 7, so i have some catching up to do, but i have until next saturday. it's a book called good to great in god's eyes: ten practices great christians have in common by chip ingram. if you've been reading my blogs of recent past, you'll know where my heart has been lately. and the first line on the back of this book pumped me up and motivated me to break it open: "are you tired of the status quo christian life?" the first chapter was about thinking great thoughts... meaning if you dwell on the negative or what the world tells you to think, you're doomed to a life of mediocricy. dwell on god's kingdom and doing his work, and the world doesn't matter anymore. it gave great ideas like memorizing scripture about how god loves you unconditionally. take a 48-hour media fast and use usual tv time during the fast to read your bible, pray, or listen to worship music. the whole concept is to transform our minds and to dwell on those things which are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, good repute... anything excellent and worthy of praise.
.
hopefully we're off to the zoo tomorrow, where we can bask in the greatness of god's creation. he's created some amazing diversity on our world, and i'm looking forward to worshipping and learning.
.
no picture today, but i'll leave you with this verse... think great thoughts... "the lord your god is with you, he is mighty to save. he will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (zephaniah 3:17)... as chip ingrim put it, "what if you woke up each morning thinking about the god of the universe singing a song of rejoicing over you?" dwell on that thought... would that change your life and current way of thinking? it has kept me changing already...
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
the hope of perfect following
though today was another drag, i continually look to god for hope of an exciting future. not just eternity, but also in this life. 'jesus said in luke 17:21 that the kingdom of god is within you. how can god live inside of us and not make a difference? he cannot; he will make a difference, or we must question whether he lives inside of us at all.' (from transformation). i think this is why life is so boring right now. i've grown up to this point believing there was some methodology behind following christ. i've come to realize following him is not a set of information to believe in, a few classes to take, a couple of merit badges on my sunday school chart. it's not about memorizing scripture or praying the right way. whether i eat or drink... whatever i do... i should do it all for the lord. as cliche as it sounds, it is a heart thing. so then i read something like the above passage from transformation and really wonder if i've ever opened my heart's door for the holy spirit to enter. it's a good argument that if god were living in me, there would be a difference. i can't discount that i'm growing, but i don't see a big change. so how does one 'let jesus in'? ask him i suppose. but you have to have faith and believe when you ask, or you can't get what you seek. so when i ask, i expect a big rush of spiritual excitement or a light from heaven. nothing. do i really believe in the power god can have in my life? sometimes i wonder about myself.
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sarah's dad has been in the hospital now for 10 days with various issues. due to him not being all there for the first 7 days or so and the girls not being allowed in i.c.u., we haven't been able to visit until tonight. he seems to be doing better aside from severe mental/spiritual discouragement. i'm no doctor, and i can't claim to be a prophet, but i think he'll come out of this.
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on our way to the hospital tonight, we somehow got on the subject of dinosaur extinction with the girls. "'extinct' means that something isn't living anymore.' how else do you explain this to a 4-year old? sarah goes into her theory on why she thinks the dinosaurs were wiped from the planet. upon completing her speech, alex asks, "but why did the dinosaurs die?" guess she missed sarah's oration. but anyway, they can't pronounce 'extinct', and we keep trying to explain to them that not some of the dinosaurs are extinct, but all of them are. alex again pipes in: "yeah. when a skunk is alive, it stinks." still not getting it, but funny. so this moves into dinosaurs on tv not being really alive... it's just tv. sonja, who has also been drawing shapes in the air during the dying conversation decides it's her turn to pipe in: "yeah. rectangles, squares, and diamonds are no big deal. they're just shapes." i guess she has a point.
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it's never easy leaving sarah's family... not now that we have their children. after making so much progress with alex over this past weekend, she's back to loathing me. on the way home from the hospital, leaving grandma, grandpa, and 'daddy andrew', she doesn't want me near her, touching her, or even listening to her tell mommy how much she misses grandpa. it's some encouragement to know that most families have children who prefer one parent over another to some extent like this, and that many go through this... but either way, it still hurts. i try to let it go and realize that someday when my love to her is proved, she won't look on me with such hatred.
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something i'm striving for is the attitude expressed in the following quote. i'm guessing it's a familiar voice, so i'll leave you guessing as to who said it. either way, i'd love more than anything to have this passion for christ and his kingdom: "by blood and origin i am albenian. my citizenship is indian. i am a catholic nun. as to my calling, i belong to the whole world. as to my heart, i belong entirely to the heart of jesus." i would alter mine slightly if i could first off alter my focus: "by blood and origin i am american. my citizenship is of heaven. i am an ambassador to this world. as to my calling, i belong to all mankind. as to my heart, it is reserved for none other than my lord and savior, jesus christ." i strive to attain this prize each day. amen.
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my bane as a father (and i'll hold to the fact that she's so stinking cute):
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
boring and not-so-boring dialogues
today was a drag. i think this was due to the overly boring speech i attended yesterday evening. though i never thought a speech could do such a thing, it feels as though the life has been sucked right out of me, and i've been barely able to hold onto conciousness since. anyway, i wasn't the only one to have complaints about the talk.
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today was tiring though, and while i blame it on yesterday evening's events, it still doesn't make anything easier. work is so busy that it's boring. i'm not sure that makes sense, but that's how it feels. i'm tired of the same old rush. and now that i'm done with my reading through the bible, lunch isn't as exciting either. i could still read the word at lunch, but i've used the last two days to read transformation (see prior blog) instead. once july hits though, it's back to god's word full time!
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tonight was a good night. alex had a few funny dialogues, one with me, two with sarah:
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me: "YOU... are so stinking cute!"
alex: "noooo... i'm not. i'm clean!" (she was. she just took a bath)
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alex: "moooom!"
sarah: "what?"
alex: "oops! i bit ya."
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sarah: "un" (counting in french... sounds like 'uh' as in 'uh huh')
alex: "i don't wanna say 'un'!" (well... it sounds funny when you hear it out loud)
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matthew text messaged me tonight to let me know he shot a -1 at o.u.c. in chillicothe. i texted him back: "jealous." i do get sick of hearing him complain about how i'm better than he is at disc golf though, b/c he's pretty good himself, and i think if he didn't shoot himself down and get in that batter's slump, he'd womp me every time. and anyway, he gets to play more than me, so he has no excuse to lose!!
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other than that, my day was a blur... as usual. we've got fun stuff planned through until next saturday (june 28)... but still... that's busy! hopefully i can find time to put in some yard work and 2nd job work. at least i had time to do 1.5 hour of 2nd job work tonight. and if sarah ever gets her cute little tushy home, we can watch our movie (the 13th warrior).
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jesus tells us to love one another. so this is for you... ghetto-style (or 'hey-i-need-a-haircut' style):
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
my first father's day weekend
this was my first father's day weekend. it was all good.
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sarah and i lead a small group of christ followers every thursday night. the gang decided to take off for the summer, so we decided to join a monday night group to stay plugged in with our christian family. my weekend started off with a saturday breakfast with the men of the new group. i'll be honest... i didn't get much out of it, but i enjoyed the fellowship and look forward to future encounters. i think a lot of it was feeling rushed to get home to be with the girls so sarah could go play soccer.
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due to the rainy day, we couldn't go outside and play, and i was feeling a bit lazy. so while sarah was at soccer, i did some reading and let the girls play without me, inside of course. when i have time to read, i've been trying to get through a book called transformation by bob robertson, jr. on saturday morning, bob had some good things to say which relate much to how i've been feeling lately, and what i have expressed in recent blogs. here are some quotes from bob's book:
.
.
sarah and i lead a small group of christ followers every thursday night. the gang decided to take off for the summer, so we decided to join a monday night group to stay plugged in with our christian family. my weekend started off with a saturday breakfast with the men of the new group. i'll be honest... i didn't get much out of it, but i enjoyed the fellowship and look forward to future encounters. i think a lot of it was feeling rushed to get home to be with the girls so sarah could go play soccer.
.
due to the rainy day, we couldn't go outside and play, and i was feeling a bit lazy. so while sarah was at soccer, i did some reading and let the girls play without me, inside of course. when i have time to read, i've been trying to get through a book called transformation by bob robertson, jr. on saturday morning, bob had some good things to say which relate much to how i've been feeling lately, and what i have expressed in recent blogs. here are some quotes from bob's book:
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- "the problem with evangelism (and any other tenet of christianity) is not so much the sharing of our faith but the living of our faith.'
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- 'we want to master the information; they (the first century church) longed to master the life.'
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- 'therefore, the church remained 'religious' but not truly 'different.''
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- and about gandhi... who wasn't a christian yet meditated on the gospels of christ an average of 2 hours per day...
- 'something is tragically amiss when a man without christ can change a nation, and christians who possess the holy spirit can't.'
- 'gandhi understood the cross as a lifestyle, as an act to be emulated, whereas most christians understand the cross as a theology to be believed.'
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- 'something is tragically amiss when a man without christ can change a nation, and christians who possess the holy spirit can't.'
- 'gandhi understood the cross as a lifestyle, as an act to be emulated, whereas most christians understand the cross as a theology to be believed.'
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- and to paraphrase: if you, as a christian, left the community in which you live and should be making an impact for the kingdom... would you be missed?
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something needs to stir us y'all...
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sarah got home from soccer, and we were all able to have lunch together. then she headed out for her weekly grocery shopping spree. as the girls lay down for an afternoon nap, i picked up my favorite book: the bible by god. i read two days worth of reading, right up to revelation 18. once sarah got home, the girls got up from their 'nap'. that was a big fiasco in my brain, b/c i really don't think they even took a nap. oh well, off to the picnic...
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grace church in norton, where we attend, is in the process of finding a new pastor to replace our current senior pastor who is retiring next year. the picnic, about 1.5-2 miles from our home, was a chance to meet the top candidate, dan gregory, and his family. the picnic was fun, and we're excited about the potential new pastor. during the picnic, bill blue held a sweet tea party with the girls while we grilled dan with questions. then they went to play with the other kids further out back. shari, who heads up the children ministry at norton grace was there with her family. our girls adore her and would probably seek her autograph if they knew what one was. at the end of the night, shari told me a cute/funny anecdote her son had relayed to her. upon playing out back with a football, the older kids were apparently not including sonja as she thought she deserved. according to brandon (shari's son), sonja yelled out, 'hey! pass the ball to someone who praises the lord!' i haven't stopped laughing.
.
sunday morning was strawberry crepes for breakfast with some pictures the girls had drawn me for my first father's day. i also got to sleep in until 8, which was a blessing from god through my family. we went to church with my parents, where they hand out red carnations for all fathers every year. i received two, one for being a dad, and another for being a new dad with twin girls this year (i was the only one who had to stand for that last bit of recognition... apparently adopting your twin neices isn't common).
.
sarah, mom, and the girls headed back to mom and dad's house after church while dad and i hit the medina disc golf course for a little 23-hole action (we play 18 and then the first 5 a second time). i shot a 5+ for the 18, which isn't bad considering they moved many of the holes since i was last there, making an already difficult course rather ridiculous. but it was perfect weather and good company, so the day was fun.
.
then we headed back to mom and dad's for some grilled chicken action. the girls were sleepy most of the afternoon, but they were quite entertaining to say the least. sarah and the girls gave me a picture frame (see comments below), and mom and dad gave me ratatouille, of which i have already blogged my praises.
.
once we got home, i mowed the lawn and set off to war the angry thistle mobs, which is an on-going, losing battle. sarah and the girls stayed in and watched a movie. as soon as i got in from my chores, it was bedtime for the little ladies of the house. the only thing different about this night was a little excerpt from sonja's prayer: '... and me, and sonja, and alex... uh... and me, and sonja... and alex.' oh yes... this reminds me of how alex finishes her prayers lately: '... and mommy and daddy and me and sonja. in jesus name amen. and all those people. in jesus name, amen.'
.
sarah and i took a stroll around the yard, planning our next landscaping endeavors. we picked some wild strawberrys and dreamed of the future. it was grand.
.
then we came in and i finished the bible... on the 105th day!!! praise god!
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and to sum it all up: this was the best first father's day i could have thought up. i want to thank my heavenly father for planning this out.
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here are some great pictures/videos of the girls from this weekend. the first was put into a nice frame for me to take to work with psalm 22:6 ('train up a child in the way [she] should go, and when [she] is old, [she] will not depart from it') at the bottom. the second i just thought displayed their beauty. the third is a cute video of alex and her new favorite saying. the fourth is a cute video of sonja being... well... sonja.
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sarah got home from soccer, and we were all able to have lunch together. then she headed out for her weekly grocery shopping spree. as the girls lay down for an afternoon nap, i picked up my favorite book: the bible by god. i read two days worth of reading, right up to revelation 18. once sarah got home, the girls got up from their 'nap'. that was a big fiasco in my brain, b/c i really don't think they even took a nap. oh well, off to the picnic...
.
grace church in norton, where we attend, is in the process of finding a new pastor to replace our current senior pastor who is retiring next year. the picnic, about 1.5-2 miles from our home, was a chance to meet the top candidate, dan gregory, and his family. the picnic was fun, and we're excited about the potential new pastor. during the picnic, bill blue held a sweet tea party with the girls while we grilled dan with questions. then they went to play with the other kids further out back. shari, who heads up the children ministry at norton grace was there with her family. our girls adore her and would probably seek her autograph if they knew what one was. at the end of the night, shari told me a cute/funny anecdote her son had relayed to her. upon playing out back with a football, the older kids were apparently not including sonja as she thought she deserved. according to brandon (shari's son), sonja yelled out, 'hey! pass the ball to someone who praises the lord!' i haven't stopped laughing.
.
sunday morning was strawberry crepes for breakfast with some pictures the girls had drawn me for my first father's day. i also got to sleep in until 8, which was a blessing from god through my family. we went to church with my parents, where they hand out red carnations for all fathers every year. i received two, one for being a dad, and another for being a new dad with twin girls this year (i was the only one who had to stand for that last bit of recognition... apparently adopting your twin neices isn't common).
.
sarah, mom, and the girls headed back to mom and dad's house after church while dad and i hit the medina disc golf course for a little 23-hole action (we play 18 and then the first 5 a second time). i shot a 5+ for the 18, which isn't bad considering they moved many of the holes since i was last there, making an already difficult course rather ridiculous. but it was perfect weather and good company, so the day was fun.
.
then we headed back to mom and dad's for some grilled chicken action. the girls were sleepy most of the afternoon, but they were quite entertaining to say the least. sarah and the girls gave me a picture frame (see comments below), and mom and dad gave me ratatouille, of which i have already blogged my praises.
.
once we got home, i mowed the lawn and set off to war the angry thistle mobs, which is an on-going, losing battle. sarah and the girls stayed in and watched a movie. as soon as i got in from my chores, it was bedtime for the little ladies of the house. the only thing different about this night was a little excerpt from sonja's prayer: '... and me, and sonja, and alex... uh... and me, and sonja... and alex.' oh yes... this reminds me of how alex finishes her prayers lately: '... and mommy and daddy and me and sonja. in jesus name amen. and all those people. in jesus name, amen.'
.
sarah and i took a stroll around the yard, planning our next landscaping endeavors. we picked some wild strawberrys and dreamed of the future. it was grand.
.
then we came in and i finished the bible... on the 105th day!!! praise god!
.
and to sum it all up: this was the best first father's day i could have thought up. i want to thank my heavenly father for planning this out.
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here are some great pictures/videos of the girls from this weekend. the first was put into a nice frame for me to take to work with psalm 22:6 ('train up a child in the way [she] should go, and when [she] is old, [she] will not depart from it') at the bottom. the second i just thought displayed their beauty. the third is a cute video of alex and her new favorite saying. the fourth is a cute video of sonja being... well... sonja.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
a passion that the world cannot explain
life flat-lined today. i didn't die, but there was no happiest or saddest part of my day. that's surprising since we were up until nearly 1 last night watching sense and sensibility... okay, sarah watched it. i fell asleep. so we'll give it another go tonight.
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the girls did something pretty funny today. while sarah was inside making dinner and i had yet to come home, they grabbed the sandbox we recently were given from our neighbors across the streeth and drug it up the concrete stairs out back (or out and around the pine trees the long way). they were able to lift the end of a small slide nisha had given us to put the end of the slide into the sandbox. then they got the hose and filled the sandbox with water. presto! instant water slide! all this with no help... the little monkeys!
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so i'm three days short of my thru-the-bible-in-90-days gig. if i'm done by the end of the day father's day, it will have taken me 105 days. not bad. my original goal was to start back up july 1st and read the bible thru in 90 days once per quarter. my plan has now changed to include that plan as well as a new one on top of that. a friend of mine just gave me a chronological bible, which puts everything into time order. it has a 365-day reading plan. so with any luck, i'll read the bible 5 times per year. i hope i can commit everything to memory with that type of repitition.
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i read all of hebrews and most of james today. hebrews 11 and all of james typically chew me up and spit me out. today, hebrews 10:26-27 gave me a nice left hook: "if we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of god." ouch.
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so i've really been at a loss lately as to figuring out why the truth of the bible doesn't hit people. many say it's a good thing and you should follow it, but there's so much more to it... we are to walk as jesus walked. be perfect as god is perfect. don't just believe, but act. stop sinning. all of these things, and more. it's not the law, but it's obedience and love for our lord jesus christ which should compel us to live this way. if not... unquenchable fire awaits. burn with passion for christ's kingdom... or just burn. my hope is that all may come to know the lord and savior christ jesus. but we each must answer for our own self.
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a picture packed full of sparkler fun from our memorial day camping trip:
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
think tank on 'e'
i guess i'm not too good at keeping up with this blog thing. i'll keep trying. it's probably from lack of sleep, time, and stimulation, that i feel i just don't have anything to write about...
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i played softball last night, though am starting to feel old at 26. then i went fishing tonight. i bet you think i don't get anything done. well let me just tell you something... i tend to agree. but in all fairness to myself, i've had a rough week mentally/psychologically so far, but i did get things done after fishing tonight. i'll hit the road running again tomorrow, coming home and enjoying another fun-packed evening of yard work (weather and lord willing).
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my biggest thought over the last two days has been on the apostle paul. he said some pretty life changing things in his letters to the various churches. but i bet if he were here in our faces today saying those same things to us, we would be offended and would probably persecute him... and jesus too as a result.
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i'm thinked out.
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i played softball last night, though am starting to feel old at 26. then i went fishing tonight. i bet you think i don't get anything done. well let me just tell you something... i tend to agree. but in all fairness to myself, i've had a rough week mentally/psychologically so far, but i did get things done after fishing tonight. i'll hit the road running again tomorrow, coming home and enjoying another fun-packed evening of yard work (weather and lord willing).
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my biggest thought over the last two days has been on the apostle paul. he said some pretty life changing things in his letters to the various churches. but i bet if he were here in our faces today saying those same things to us, we would be offended and would probably persecute him... and jesus too as a result.
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i'm thinked out.
Monday, June 09, 2008
patiently waiting...
i'm antsy. i'm bored. though each day flies by, i feel like life is dragging. i don't wish it away, but things never seem to get resolved. it seems as though years pass by waiting for a finale. i just want to see the end. praying for the finish but having to endure the race... it's a drag. the challenge of time margin is tough. my daily tasks aren't easy. i know there is more that god has to offer my life, but i find myself asking 'is this it?' i don't want to do things, not because they're too difficult; rather, i don't think they're challenging enough. i'm bored. i'm antsy.
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where are the true christian warriors? where is my band of brothers? have they all deserted? what happened to the excitement of battle and the passion of the cross? i feel alone in a warzone, without an ally for comfort. i know god is coming to rescue me, but i wish i had a comrade to keep me company and pass the time. in being one, i remain silent, the passion and excitement bubbling for action.
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why can't i be what i know i ought? he then, who knows the good he ought to do, yet doesn't do it... sins. i think i don't do that good b/c i guess i'm not convinced people want it. they'd rather live in monotony and die at the end. people want heaven, but not god. they want to believe in something after life, regardless of how they've lived, but they don't want a savior who will change how they live. saying and doing are separated by one thing: truth.
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so i'm bored b/c i'm not challenged. i'm not challenged b/c i do not have a band of brothers. i do not have a band of brothers b/c these men are not convinced they want the same challenges i'm eager to take on. they are not convinced b/c they have not really, honestly, deeply, and lovingly embraced the truth. saying you have is one thing. 'doing' truth is something completely different.
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here i sit, spiritually depressed and waiting.
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where are the true christian warriors? where is my band of brothers? have they all deserted? what happened to the excitement of battle and the passion of the cross? i feel alone in a warzone, without an ally for comfort. i know god is coming to rescue me, but i wish i had a comrade to keep me company and pass the time. in being one, i remain silent, the passion and excitement bubbling for action.
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why can't i be what i know i ought? he then, who knows the good he ought to do, yet doesn't do it... sins. i think i don't do that good b/c i guess i'm not convinced people want it. they'd rather live in monotony and die at the end. people want heaven, but not god. they want to believe in something after life, regardless of how they've lived, but they don't want a savior who will change how they live. saying and doing are separated by one thing: truth.
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so i'm bored b/c i'm not challenged. i'm not challenged b/c i do not have a band of brothers. i do not have a band of brothers b/c these men are not convinced they want the same challenges i'm eager to take on. they are not convinced b/c they have not really, honestly, deeply, and lovingly embraced the truth. saying you have is one thing. 'doing' truth is something completely different.
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here i sit, spiritually depressed and waiting.
Friday, June 06, 2008
god's witness: a weed wacker
i love fridays. hot ones. like tim allen's line in the movie jungle 2 jungle: "what'd they call this place again? the surface of the sun?!?!" (correction to yesterday's blog: that was matchbox 20, not smash mouth)
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work was nice today, though not much was accomplished. i did get to chat to a good friend and colleague today though. the conversation went from work to god. and when you get two people like us talking about god, we can justify missing a little work for the sake of encouraging one another. but i got to cut out early today too, which was great in and of itself.
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sarah and the girls hit a cool little 'splash park' in medina today. neat little concrete pad with water coming out of it. based on the pictures, it looked crowded, but our little socialites took to it well. now if we can start getting them to talk about jesus in those super social situations, others will be all set... for eternity. and as i flipped through sarah's photographic prowess, it reminded me that they are not biologically mine... i hate water.
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so i get off work early to come home and mow my acre before pizza and a movie. i'm about 15 minutes from finishing when i double take a friend out of the corner of my eye. i get off the deere to great him. it was a good chat other than making fun of my pink shirt. not long into it, he asks if we still need a weed eater. i say yes, but that another friend of ours had been talking about getting his fixed and bringing it over one day so i can get some trimming done. so herb motions and says, 'come over to the car, i've got something for you.' wouldn't you know it, herb and his wife bought me a weed eater! it's not a life or death situation, but god is good to us. coincidentally, after dinner i notice i have a voicemail on the cell. somehow i missed a call. it was dad. he said he had emailed me at work but didn't know if i had received it... i hadn't b/c i left early. in it, he told me to go ahead and go buy myself a weed wacker and he'd reimburse me. wow... you know it's bad when god's telling you that you need a weed wacker! thank you herb, elaine, mom, and dad. may the lord bless you for your servitude to us!
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netflix sent us ratatouille tonight. this was a great flick which i would recommend to everyone. cute, clean, imaginitive... you name it. i'd buy it if i could, just for myself.
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our house is like neopolitan ice cream... three flavors. the basement feels like air conditioning, the main living floor is hot, and the upstairs is a sauna. i remember growing up sleeping in the boiler. i figure i've done my time... but i still don't want the little ones to have to go through it now. it's hot!
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and to wrap it up, here's my spiritual rant for the day...
have you ever heard this argument: "if there is no god, then you and i are both in the same boat. however, if there is a god, then what does that mean for you when judgement comes? i know i'm going to heaven b/c i choose to believe god exists." i dislike this. if you're a christian, you shouldn't be saying "if" god exists. he does.
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here are two cute pictures of the girls from today's watery extravaganza. sonja's in the blue speedo. alex is in the pink bikini.
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