finding joy in the cosmic cookie jar

we had the girls dedicated today. i know that sounds awfully catholic and even mystic. but like baptism, it simply allows us to stand in front of our church family and proclaim something. in baptism, we are shouting to the world that we are His. in dedicating the girls, all we are doing is asking witnesses to hold us accountable in raising our children for Jesus. this is what we want to do. this is what we would like our friends and family to embrace. this is how we would like our church family to support us.
.
the significance for us in doing this is something even deeper. to paraphrase what sarah wrote, we want the girls to understand the significance of their adoption someday. to realize that we too are adopted. when we chose to follow Christ, He adopted us as His son and daughter, much as He does with everyone who believes in Him. that's huge!
.
in dedicating the girls, the whole adoption process and all ramifactions were thrown back up in front of my face this morning. with that, pastor dan's sermon hit me in the gut.
.
dan spoke on james 1:1-12 where the apostle paul speaks of trials. there is quite an assortment of trails in the cosmic cookie jar. and while dan theorized that trials are unplanned, i disagreed to an extent. while most of the time, we don't sit down to schedule a miscarriage, a lay-off, or the death of a loved one, sometimes trials are scheduled.
.
through some miracle, God worked on my heart, and sarah and i scheduled to adopt the girls. my selfishness makes this a trial. and while my selfishness illuminated the trial to come, helping us realize it would happen, there are some trials we didn't see, nor schedule.
.
it has been almost 12 months to the day since sonja and alex jumped into our home. the trials have been plenty, and still continue in abundance. but those we have been able to overcome, my life is testimony to God's love, forgiveness, and faithfulness. He has loved us in providing for our needs through family, friends, and miraculous timing. He has been forgiving in all of my shortcomings... all of which only i can truly understand. and He has been faithful by keeping those promises He spoke through paul in the book of james. these trials have tested my faith, have formed my character, and provided wisdom. i have not arrived. i have not obtained all things. but one thing i do know... i continue onward, pressing toward that goal...
.
God would like you to live a life that is pure rather than a life that is comfortable. that's why there are trials. that's why there must be trials. what you do with them is more important than not having any. so prepare now.
.
while some trials may leave us feeling as though we've been grounded in mud, face plastered into the muck, we know that we're called to live a life of faithfulness, not success. so don't expect perfection.
.
again, i'm not here to say i've mastered this. i'm not here to say i'm an expert on the subject. i'm here to say it works. and while cliche to the ear, the truth is my only peace comes in knowing Jesus Christ and Him crucified. if it weren't for God's love, forgiveness, and faithfulness in my life, i know i would be a wreck. i'm prone to depression, bursts of anger, and selfishness of all sorts. what i am now is my testimony to Him.
.
ben bates... uncool, yet loved.