we had the girls dedicated today. i know that sounds awfully catholic and even mystic. but like baptism, it simply allows us to stand in front of our church family and proclaim something. in baptism, we are shouting to the world that we are His. in dedicating the girls, all we are doing is asking witnesses to hold us accountable in raising our children for Jesus. this is what we want to do. this is what we would like our friends and family to embrace. this is how we would like our church family to support us.
.
the significance for us in doing this is something even deeper. to paraphrase what sarah wrote, we want the girls to understand the significance of their adoption someday. to realize that we too are adopted. when we chose to follow Christ, He adopted us as His son and daughter, much as He does with everyone who believes in Him. that's huge!
.
in dedicating the girls, the whole adoption process and all ramifactions were thrown back up in front of my face this morning. with that, pastor dan's sermon hit me in the gut.
.
dan spoke on james 1:1-12 where the apostle paul speaks of trials. there is quite an assortment of trails in the cosmic cookie jar. and while dan theorized that trials are unplanned, i disagreed to an extent. while most of the time, we don't sit down to schedule a miscarriage, a lay-off, or the death of a loved one, sometimes trials are scheduled.
.
through some miracle, God worked on my heart, and sarah and i scheduled to adopt the girls. my selfishness makes this a trial. and while my selfishness illuminated the trial to come, helping us realize it would happen, there are some trials we didn't see, nor schedule.
.
it has been almost 12 months to the day since sonja and alex jumped into our home. the trials have been plenty, and still continue in abundance. but those we have been able to overcome, my life is testimony to God's love, forgiveness, and faithfulness. He has loved us in providing for our needs through family, friends, and miraculous timing. He has been forgiving in all of my shortcomings... all of which only i can truly understand. and He has been faithful by keeping those promises He spoke through paul in the book of james. these trials have tested my faith, have formed my character, and provided wisdom. i have not arrived. i have not obtained all things. but one thing i do know... i continue onward, pressing toward that goal...
.
God would like you to live a life that is pure rather than a life that is comfortable. that's why there are trials. that's why there must be trials. what you do with them is more important than not having any. so prepare now.
.
while some trials may leave us feeling as though we've been grounded in mud, face plastered into the muck, we know that we're called to live a life of faithfulness, not success. so don't expect perfection.
.
again, i'm not here to say i've mastered this. i'm not here to say i'm an expert on the subject. i'm here to say it works. and while cliche to the ear, the truth is my only peace comes in knowing Jesus Christ and Him crucified. if it weren't for God's love, forgiveness, and faithfulness in my life, i know i would be a wreck. i'm prone to depression, bursts of anger, and selfishness of all sorts. what i am now is my testimony to Him.
.
ben bates... uncool, yet loved.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
and so this is christmas
this is the first year for me in which today does not feel like christmas, it's meaning dwarfed by a big birthday party, last minute 'basement shopping', no snow, the non-realness of santa... to name a few. the mad rush, the money, the decorating, the busyness... where's Jesus?
.
yesterday, the radio spat out "all of you is more than enough for all of me." but is it? in a world of materialism, it's easy to get caught searching for christmas in things seen. because Jesus isn't enough. we try to bring the meaning of the tree, presents, and time with family back to Jesus. justification. if we don't put up a tree, buy presents, or spend time with family, it's not christmas. we're stuck in a web of tradition, never really understanding the meaning. that's why most of my christmas looks the same as that of a jew, a hindu, or an atheist. other than mentioning Jesus under the tree between a blur of wrapping paper and toys, their christmases all have trees, presents, and family, just like me.
.
why be different?
.
merry christmas.
.
yesterday, the radio spat out "all of you is more than enough for all of me." but is it? in a world of materialism, it's easy to get caught searching for christmas in things seen. because Jesus isn't enough. we try to bring the meaning of the tree, presents, and time with family back to Jesus. justification. if we don't put up a tree, buy presents, or spend time with family, it's not christmas. we're stuck in a web of tradition, never really understanding the meaning. that's why most of my christmas looks the same as that of a jew, a hindu, or an atheist. other than mentioning Jesus under the tree between a blur of wrapping paper and toys, their christmases all have trees, presents, and family, just like me.
.
why be different?
.
merry christmas.
late... as usual
so as usual lately, i haven't had much free time. and what free time i've had has been spent trying to keep my eyes open. as such, i am late again... wanting to blog about the girls' first birthday with us...
.
last saturday was day 2 of the birthday celebration, though day being celebrated wasn't until sunday. a week from today, christmas, we celebrated at the girls' school. going to each classroom, we watched as the birthday girl walked a globe in a circle around a lit candle with the class singing "the earth goes around the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun. the earth goes around the sun, the sun, and (your child's name here) was (age)." this is sung to the tune of the wheels on the bus and is sung each time the earth goes around the sun. in other words, it was sung for year 1, year 2, year 3, year 4, and year 5 with a pause between each year to talk about what alex/sonja was like at that age. it was followed by a simple snack of homemade chex mix, and back to work i went.
.
saturday was the big party day. since it was the girls' first birthday under our roof, we decided to go all out... for us. we invited 31 children to a place called pump-it-up. if you've never heard of this, it's basically a big room designed for birthday parties, equipped with ceiling-high inflatable toys for the kids to run and jump, literally bouncing off the walls. counting our kids, only 15 children were present, which is somewhat sadly to be expected as their birthday is so near christmas.
.
the prior two weekends, sonja has gone to birthday parties. alex has not. as such, alex has been feeling somewhat unloved and unwelcomed in any group. sonja seems to have recently become the life of any gathering, while alex has become shy, quiet, and a loner. their party was no exception unfortunately. alex came up to be later during the jump fest wearing a pout. upon inquiring of her curious facial expression, i found she felt nobody would play with her. so daddy emptied his pockets, took off his shoes, and raced around the complex like a fellow 5-year old, romping with the lonely 5-year-old-to-be. we had a great time.
.
saturday night before bed was spent opening all of the presents received from the party. in typical small child fashion, the girls tore through the packaging, said a quick "wow", and jumped on the next package.
.
after church sunday, our families came over for some birthday fun. we sat around and chatted while the kids ran around like little wild animals. snacks, cake, ice cream, and presents were the order of the day, nothing disappointing. even mr. seth and miss nisha were there!
.
so the popular question lately is "are the girls ready for christmas?" and the favored reply: "they could care less. it's their birthday."
.
last saturday was day 2 of the birthday celebration, though day being celebrated wasn't until sunday. a week from today, christmas, we celebrated at the girls' school. going to each classroom, we watched as the birthday girl walked a globe in a circle around a lit candle with the class singing "the earth goes around the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun. the earth goes around the sun, the sun, and (your child's name here) was (age)." this is sung to the tune of the wheels on the bus and is sung each time the earth goes around the sun. in other words, it was sung for year 1, year 2, year 3, year 4, and year 5 with a pause between each year to talk about what alex/sonja was like at that age. it was followed by a simple snack of homemade chex mix, and back to work i went.
.
saturday was the big party day. since it was the girls' first birthday under our roof, we decided to go all out... for us. we invited 31 children to a place called pump-it-up. if you've never heard of this, it's basically a big room designed for birthday parties, equipped with ceiling-high inflatable toys for the kids to run and jump, literally bouncing off the walls. counting our kids, only 15 children were present, which is somewhat sadly to be expected as their birthday is so near christmas.
.
the prior two weekends, sonja has gone to birthday parties. alex has not. as such, alex has been feeling somewhat unloved and unwelcomed in any group. sonja seems to have recently become the life of any gathering, while alex has become shy, quiet, and a loner. their party was no exception unfortunately. alex came up to be later during the jump fest wearing a pout. upon inquiring of her curious facial expression, i found she felt nobody would play with her. so daddy emptied his pockets, took off his shoes, and raced around the complex like a fellow 5-year old, romping with the lonely 5-year-old-to-be. we had a great time.
.
saturday night before bed was spent opening all of the presents received from the party. in typical small child fashion, the girls tore through the packaging, said a quick "wow", and jumped on the next package.
.
after church sunday, our families came over for some birthday fun. we sat around and chatted while the kids ran around like little wild animals. snacks, cake, ice cream, and presents were the order of the day, nothing disappointing. even mr. seth and miss nisha were there!
.
so the popular question lately is "are the girls ready for christmas?" and the favored reply: "they could care less. it's their birthday."
Saturday, December 20, 2008
twas the week before christmas
this christmas marks our first with children. it's hard to believe that in a few weeks, i will have been a father for 12 months... but we have to get through christmas first.
.
last saturday, we went as a family to a tree farm. if you're one for a plastic look-alike in the corner of your living room, you may not understand this experience. the place we go to get our tree each year also has real reindeer and a gift shop where you can sit by the fire and drink some hot cocoa after playing paul bunyan. and the experience is so much more fun with two children... even if it involves whining in climbing the hill and spilled hot chocolate. but we got the tree home safe and sound, all decorated in the corner of our living room.
.
last sunday was week two for an invite to a birthday party... for sonja. poor alex has been left out, but that's not because she's unloved. she's just in different circles. but while sarah has taken sonja to her parties, alex and i have had some fun. last sunday involved watching dumbo and going to starbuck's for some hot chocolate. her bright little smile pours out "i'm loved and am loving it." our prayer is that she understands that, as she gets older, she is loved not only by us, but by Jesus as well.
.
on the way to starbuck's she explained that in 'real' golf, they use swingers to hit the ball into the little whole. as we turned the corner from that short conversation, we spied a hawk, to which she intelligently pointed out that "hawks eat small mammals." i'm sure they eat other types of small animals too, but i thought it was cute.
.
in our small group on monday, we talked about forgiveness... not necessarily asking for it, but also for giving it. asking can be hard, but giving is very difficult, especially when the one you're forgiving doesn't believe there is a reason they needed to be forgiven. my debts have been paid. why should you still owe me?
.
tuesday was a trek through a winter storm warning to watch sonja sing a few christmas songs to families of her classmates. what bright little children! sitting in her classroom that night made me realize that these types of things were something i hadn't thought of in raising children. growing up i couldn't wait for a children's choir to be over so the real music could begin. but now that i have children of my own, it's a completely different experience.
.
thursday... ah, thursday. yes, this was the day we decided to finally sit down and get our online christmas shopping done. most websites posted "tomorrow at noon is the last day to submit your order if you'd like to receive by december 24th." yikes! that's tomorrow! so needless to say, we were up until around 2:30 trying to get it all done. i just hope it all makes it in time, or we could have a couple of disappointed halflings!
.
last night we watched the polar express. i had heard mixed reviews, but after seeing i thought it was a well-presented movie. i can't say it made me a 'believer' though... probably because i know the Truth.
.
and today... i'll probably blog more about this later tonight, but today is the girls' birthday party. tomorrow they will be 5. it's an exciting time in the bates household as we prepare for a big celebration with family and friends. i can't wait!
.
so those are the anecdotes for the week.
.
spiritual significance has been stifled by work, planning a birthday, and budget woes this past week. my focus has honestly been elsewhere. i haven't stopped loving God, but i've definitely been ignoring Him. and when that happens, the ability to serve is lost. and during christmas, people need the Love i can point them to... but i have been selfish. in realizing this brokenness, i'm feeling open to change.
.
read www.jaredemerick.blogspot.com. when God speaks, act. don't hesitate.
.
last saturday, we went as a family to a tree farm. if you're one for a plastic look-alike in the corner of your living room, you may not understand this experience. the place we go to get our tree each year also has real reindeer and a gift shop where you can sit by the fire and drink some hot cocoa after playing paul bunyan. and the experience is so much more fun with two children... even if it involves whining in climbing the hill and spilled hot chocolate. but we got the tree home safe and sound, all decorated in the corner of our living room.
.
last sunday was week two for an invite to a birthday party... for sonja. poor alex has been left out, but that's not because she's unloved. she's just in different circles. but while sarah has taken sonja to her parties, alex and i have had some fun. last sunday involved watching dumbo and going to starbuck's for some hot chocolate. her bright little smile pours out "i'm loved and am loving it." our prayer is that she understands that, as she gets older, she is loved not only by us, but by Jesus as well.
.
on the way to starbuck's she explained that in 'real' golf, they use swingers to hit the ball into the little whole. as we turned the corner from that short conversation, we spied a hawk, to which she intelligently pointed out that "hawks eat small mammals." i'm sure they eat other types of small animals too, but i thought it was cute.
.
in our small group on monday, we talked about forgiveness... not necessarily asking for it, but also for giving it. asking can be hard, but giving is very difficult, especially when the one you're forgiving doesn't believe there is a reason they needed to be forgiven. my debts have been paid. why should you still owe me?
.
tuesday was a trek through a winter storm warning to watch sonja sing a few christmas songs to families of her classmates. what bright little children! sitting in her classroom that night made me realize that these types of things were something i hadn't thought of in raising children. growing up i couldn't wait for a children's choir to be over so the real music could begin. but now that i have children of my own, it's a completely different experience.
.
thursday... ah, thursday. yes, this was the day we decided to finally sit down and get our online christmas shopping done. most websites posted "tomorrow at noon is the last day to submit your order if you'd like to receive by december 24th." yikes! that's tomorrow! so needless to say, we were up until around 2:30 trying to get it all done. i just hope it all makes it in time, or we could have a couple of disappointed halflings!
.
last night we watched the polar express. i had heard mixed reviews, but after seeing i thought it was a well-presented movie. i can't say it made me a 'believer' though... probably because i know the Truth.
.
and today... i'll probably blog more about this later tonight, but today is the girls' birthday party. tomorrow they will be 5. it's an exciting time in the bates household as we prepare for a big celebration with family and friends. i can't wait!
.
so those are the anecdotes for the week.
.
spiritual significance has been stifled by work, planning a birthday, and budget woes this past week. my focus has honestly been elsewhere. i haven't stopped loving God, but i've definitely been ignoring Him. and when that happens, the ability to serve is lost. and during christmas, people need the Love i can point them to... but i have been selfish. in realizing this brokenness, i'm feeling open to change.
.
read www.jaredemerick.blogspot.com. when God speaks, act. don't hesitate.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
the courage of gift giving
since i'm staying home this morning with a sick alex, i figured i would take the time to do this. so we have movie #2 going, and my back is hot as i'm sitting up against a roaring fire. the only downside is having to go to work later.
.
but life has been good aside from feeling as though i should be doing more. we're slowly getting ready for the christmas season, our small group at church seems to be going well, and we're all relatively healthy (despite the current rampant cold). so much to be thankful for, yet feeling unfulfilled somehow. with all God has given me, i still find it hard to pass the blessings on to others who made need that gift more than myself. hard because i'm selfish. hard because i'm living in fear. but i can justify not doing more...
.
i don't pray as often as i should because i feel the words aren't there and i'm ill equipped. i don't spend as much time in God's Word as I should because i lack the time or will just fall asleep if i take the time. i don't give because my budget is alread tight. i don't spread the good news because i'm afraid of acceptance and am anti-confrentational. i don't love like i should because i've been led to a religion of facts versus a religion of relationship. i expect others to come to me what needs to be filled rather than seeking the broken. i'm reactive rather than proactive. and once i'm done feeling sorry for myself in these things, i essentially shrug it off and say, 'well, i've never been able to change this, so i'll just give up again.'
.
if i don't go above peoples' expectations and shine my life change in front everyone, i've denied God's power. i'm not here to convince the world Jesus is God and that He is alive and well today, working miracles like He always has. i'm here to point all i meet to the gift of God: Jesus. everyone is responsible for their own decision, so i can't take blame if i've shown them the change and they deny it. and do i believe Jesus will come again with judgement in my lifetime? i don't know... but it could happen. the potential end of this world is slowly spurring on my courage, whether or not it actually happens. my friend nathan once had a quote posted somewhere which i would love to adopt as my life motto: 'i want to live my life in such a way that the demons in hell know my name.' and as casting crowns lyricized: 'what if the amies of the Lord picked up and dusted off their swords? vowed to set the captive free, and not let satan have one more? ... took a stand upon God's promise, and stormed hell's rusty gates? what if His people prayed?'
.
may God bless you during this holiday season. see the truth. digest His promises. make the choice. i pray you will accept the gift.
.
but life has been good aside from feeling as though i should be doing more. we're slowly getting ready for the christmas season, our small group at church seems to be going well, and we're all relatively healthy (despite the current rampant cold). so much to be thankful for, yet feeling unfulfilled somehow. with all God has given me, i still find it hard to pass the blessings on to others who made need that gift more than myself. hard because i'm selfish. hard because i'm living in fear. but i can justify not doing more...
.
i don't pray as often as i should because i feel the words aren't there and i'm ill equipped. i don't spend as much time in God's Word as I should because i lack the time or will just fall asleep if i take the time. i don't give because my budget is alread tight. i don't spread the good news because i'm afraid of acceptance and am anti-confrentational. i don't love like i should because i've been led to a religion of facts versus a religion of relationship. i expect others to come to me what needs to be filled rather than seeking the broken. i'm reactive rather than proactive. and once i'm done feeling sorry for myself in these things, i essentially shrug it off and say, 'well, i've never been able to change this, so i'll just give up again.'
.
if i don't go above peoples' expectations and shine my life change in front everyone, i've denied God's power. i'm not here to convince the world Jesus is God and that He is alive and well today, working miracles like He always has. i'm here to point all i meet to the gift of God: Jesus. everyone is responsible for their own decision, so i can't take blame if i've shown them the change and they deny it. and do i believe Jesus will come again with judgement in my lifetime? i don't know... but it could happen. the potential end of this world is slowly spurring on my courage, whether or not it actually happens. my friend nathan once had a quote posted somewhere which i would love to adopt as my life motto: 'i want to live my life in such a way that the demons in hell know my name.' and as casting crowns lyricized: 'what if the amies of the Lord picked up and dusted off their swords? vowed to set the captive free, and not let satan have one more? ... took a stand upon God's promise, and stormed hell's rusty gates? what if His people prayed?'
.
may God bless you during this holiday season. see the truth. digest His promises. make the choice. i pray you will accept the gift.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
