work began on the wrong foot today. i was re-enlightened that i am an afterthought. i am a foot soldier. i am the fly on the wall. i am jack's inflamed sense of rejection. i am a credit analyst... II. i feel this way about working for god a lot too. i think a lot of people do. yeah, working for the lord is important, but you can't earn your way there. so for me to give you a list of things you should and shouldn't do is a waste of my time. thank god for his grace. now i need to figure out how to feel that salvation through my job.
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yes matthew. i hate money too. over the last two months we have lost just over 1/3rd of our household income. with the economy down, so is any annual raise i may get, which will likely be more than offset by the increase in health benefits... which subsequently doubled due to adding two new lives to the family payroll. my gas and electric bills have increased by at least 50%. the grocery budget has jumped up about $30. in one weekend my furnace died, ice dammed on my roof causing water to leak into the middle of my kitchen, and the washer died (in chronological order). now due to a calculation error on my part, we may end up owing taxes rather than receiving a refund (for all you non-math majors out there, to pay $280 in taxes per quarter is not the same as $280 per month). both vehicles have one tire each losing air on a regular basis, and i know both are overdue for an oil change. i have a parttime job which i never seem to have the energy to do. forget a raise at the current position. and i need to have an 'in' somewhere new b/c i'm nothing on paper. and i don't have to tell you anything about gas prices, though the bp around the corner from my house hit $3.45 per gallon today. but despite all this, i know money can't buy happiness. good thing, b/c i couldn't afford it! but i know i'm happier now than others in better financial straights than myself. oh, i'm not 100% with my situation, but i can smile. i can b/c he can. and i'm giving the one and only living god the credit. he will see me through. by faith, i am happy and content.
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okay, so alexandra can throw a fit. i mean, if a fit were a tangible thing, she could pick it up, hurl it across the room, and it would stick to any surface it first hit. i thought i was bad as a child. i was. it's hard as a parent to tolerate something like that, but i throw a fit to god every day. i'm sure thankful my heavenly father doesn't throw his hands up like i do. it's a process. i'm learning.
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nothing can put words to our current life situation quite as eloquently as one of sarah's thank you notes, written to a small group of believers from our church family:
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"the halsten real life group,
we want to thank all of you for your love and support. ben and i know some of you and others we don't, but it was such a blessing to see that we were in your thoughts and i'm sure prayers. i wish that i could tell all of you the amazing things god has done to get the girls where they are now and about the spiritual struggles ben and i have faced to reach this point. but just know that we have been blessed in having you guys as part of our church family. we have seen the power of the body of christ in the past few months. we have learned a lot about humility, our own strengths and weaknesses and our faith. thank you all for the wonderful gifts... please keep us in your prayers that we would all continue to adjust well. that ben and i would be wise, just and merciful in our parenting, and that god would continue to provide for our needs.
with love in christ, the bates family"
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something else that struck me pretty good today was included in an email from matthew:
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Risk more than others think is safe;
Care more than others think is wise;
Dream more than others think is practical;
Expect more than others think is possible.
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and from the same email, a familiar song: "jesus paid it all. all to him i owe. sin had left a crimson stain. he washed it white as snow."
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favorite bible verse read today (kinda makes me want to cry...): "when a prophet of the lord is among you, i reveal myself to him in visions, i speak to him in dreams. but this is not true of my servant moses; he is faithful in all my house. with him i speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the lord." (numbers 12:6-8)
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favorite picture taken today: sorry, i didn't have time to pick up my camera. so here's a good link instead:
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